You are a full-time job

How are you today?

Hey, listen, I've been thinking on and off about what we talked about yesterday. And I'm thinking that I really don't want to go there yet. You'll have to trust me on this.

Sure. When you're ready I'll be here.

I 'preciate that, I really do.

How do you feel about talking to me? This is the 50th time we've talked, you know.

No shit?

Yes shit! Fifty times.

Man, um...I think I get mixed up all the time 'cause I feel like I'm always looking for the truth, in, like, every situation, and, man, that's so hard. You know, I feel kind of embarrassed and kind of sorry for you 'cause you've had to listen to so much of my bullshit. And, you know, I'm so fuckin' mentally unstable, and I don't trust no one. And -- and this scares the holy shit outta me -- I'm beginning to trust you...

I'm glad...

You better not let me down, fucker. I fuckin' mean it, I'll fuckin' hunt you down and fuckin' kill you if you desert me in my time of need.

Farmboy...

Yeah?

You're getting scary. Seriously.

That's how scared I am. But I need your help...

And that's why I'm here...

I need to get better.

You will. You won't get perfect, but you will get better.

(shakes head) Fifty times. And, I hate to tell you this, pal, this is merely the beginning...

I know.

I got a lot of work to do.

An adventure, farmboy. Look at it as an adventure.

So, Fifty times. I've learned a lot about you and I've learned a lot about me. I've learned that I make mistakes more often than I'd like to admit.

Mistakes? I'm the king of mistakes!

I've learned that you're a lot smarter than I thought originally...

Oh, thanks. Motherfuckin' asshole, miserable Republican piece of shit.

(laughs) Hey, I'm no Republican! Let me finish...

(laughs) Please do. Enlighten me, motherfucker.

I always knew you were smart. But you fuckin' surprise me all the time, farmboy. You really love learning, you know that. You're always reading, always alert, even though you're on marijuana. You seem to be just naturally curious.

I know one thing. You are a full-time job. (laughs) I'm glad I get to interview you.

So, tell me, do you like this interview process?

I like getting to know you as my friend and learning to trust you...maybe. I mean, I do, but, fuck, man, I got defenses, I got armor that'll fuckin' amaze you.

But, fuck, man, I really like talking with you and I really like you as my friend and I'm so afraid of getting addicted to you or you'll go away or I'll go away and...Oh, man, I'm thinkin' too much.

Here's what I have to say: Thanks. Thank you very much for listening to me and...caring about me. I still don't know why you do it.

It's my job. Trust me on this.

Here's what I have to say. I am very proud of you, farmboy.

Okay, on to fifty-one. Oh, and, um...

(whispers) Thanks.