My summer of being human

So do you have your apartment to yourself again?

Yeah. My friend left this morning, but he'll be back in a week. He's going to stay here while I'm in California. He writes books as well as songs and he wanted to have a place he could stay for a little while to write.

Did you have a good time?

I did. It was fun. Which was a surprise for me.

You know, I'm doing this new thing. Last summer I did nothing but worry and worry and worry about money. This summer is my summer of being human. Of accepting the fact that I'm a member of this fuckin' species. So that means I see people and have fun and walk and eat good things. I don't isolate myself all the time.

That sounds great, farmboy. It really does.

Well, we'll see how it goes. I want experiences this summer. I want to take chances. I want to not be so fuckin' afraid of everything. You know, I figured out recently that I walk on eggshells...around myself! I mean, is that the most stupid thing in the world? I mean, jeez, c'mon, give me a fuckin' break.

It is pretty useless...

You got that right. I figure if I don't like it I can always go back to being miserable.

But it's gonna be...interesting, y'know? 'Cause if I'm opening myself up by being human then I'm opening myself up for all those fuckin' feelings, y'know? Fuck. But, shit, I wind up having all those negative feelings anyway. I mean, I'm not exactly the poster boy for mental health.

You've been growing, farmboy. This summer's been good for you.

Yeah, I've been lucky in a lot of ways.

You have been eating better from what you've told me.

Yeah, and I actually think that may be part of things improving. But I haven't had to go through all sorts of trials this summer. I've been very fortunate. I've been very blessed. But I'm very aware that everything could just fall through, crash through the roof, y'know? I'm just hoping to build up some muscles before anything happens.

So yeah, this summer's been good so far. I'm hoping it stays that way.

Well, you're doing your part, farmboy.

Well, I'm fuckin' trying.