Rat in a maze

So I'm not going back to my old school. So everything I've done has been in vain. All the phone calls, all the emails, all the fuckin' ass-kissing. None of it matters. All of the worrying, the anxiety, the anger, the pains in my stomach. I have not been listened to.

This is what I do: I run around like a rat in a maze, frantically, trying to get out, but there's no escape. I do everything I can only to run into brick walls at every turn. This is how I live my life.

I don't know about my friends at the coffeehouse. They're not even aware that I'm being left out of the big concert they're having, even though I was asked to play. They are my only friends in this fuckin' city and I'm not really part of them.

farmboy...

I don't know what to do anymore, man. I don't fuckin' know. And there's no relief, there's no release, there's no...there's no...

No what, farmboy?

Hope, man, I just don't know. I have a hard time saying there's no hope. And I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I may just be stupid.

You're not stupid, farmboy.

Man, I don't know. I've done all this red tape stuff. I've talked to the union. I've prayed.

You know, my life has been shit since 2002...

The year your father died?

Something happened to me. To my brain. And I've never ever gotten close to recovering...

farmboy, this is a lot to handle right now, taking on the past nine years. But remember all of this, so you call tell your counselor.

I may have to kill myself...

farmboy...

It's not just this job thing. Or my friends at the coffeehouse. It's that, I don't know, maybe there is no chance for me. Things have been so bad for so long...

farmboy, listen to me. Take an anxiety pill. Do whatever you need to do -- if you need to go to the store, do it now. Then come home and take care of yourself. Do whatever it takes. Watch some movie or something, play internet games, look for diversions.

I'm so depressed, man. (farmboy starts crying)

I know, farmboy, I know. I wish I could do something. It's not fair, I know.

Fairness has nothing to do with anything in this world.