I want to be confident and strong

Well, man, today was the first day of a three-day weekend. And I did basically nothing. Saw a couple of movies on Netflix, rehearsed for the CD. Didn't even leave the apartment. Just a lazy fuckin' day.

And that's okay, farmboy. It's good to have a do-nothing day once in a while.

Yeah, I know. I made chicken vegetable soup today. Pretty healthy stuff. I'm trying to be healthier. I need to do that for the CD. I want my vocals to sound healthy, you know.

Lots of things seem to be in service to the CD.

Man, you are so right. It's gonna affect everything, I think, in my life for a while. And I actually think that's a good thing, you know?

I just realized today that I've been having a hard time for the past dozen years or so. That's a long time to have a lot of trouble and misery in your life. I have to change it. I don't know how, but I can't be wasting so much time and energy on a miserable life.

No, you can't, farmboy. Twelve years...

I mean, there's been some good stuff in there, too. I don't want to discount that. It's just been hard for a long,long time.

Depression?

Yeah, and financial and spiritual and...well, a lot of it's been grief over my father's death. And there that is. Let's talk about something else.

Anyway, I just don't want to waste any more time. I want to play music, I want to travel. I'd like to fall in love, even. I want to quit being afraid. I want to be confident and strong.

And you will be, farmboy.

I know. I'm just impatient, you know? I'm also aware that I have so much hard work ahead of me. But, man, it'll be worth it. I know that for sure.