the Christmas I had

I missed Christmas
or Christmas missed me
some say it wasn't
meant to be
you had Christmas
with loved ones near
the Christmas I had
disappeared 
as if I was not here

my calendar 
is out of whack
because I'll never get
that Christmas back
you don't care
you had your cheer
the Christmas I had
disappeared
as if I deserved it
this year

you had Christmas
it was a good one, too
you who judged me
not good enough for you
you had Christmas
inside your happy home
surrounded by family
the Christmas I had 
was unknown

but you don't care
you had yours
and good for you
and your open doors
people of privilege
people of privilege

you had Christmas
the Christmas I had
didn't happen

you had Christmas
you had Christmas
fuck you