I don't know anybody and nobody knows me

So here I am, another day. I just got back from walking and I'm depressed. It seems like every day is exactly the same. And I do things that are good for me; I walk, I read, I write, I play music, I watch what I eat, and I have no fun. I don't know anybody and nobody knows me.

I'm proud of you for continuing to nurture good habits, farmboy. They all add up.

Oh yeah? When, exactly?

I can't tell you when. You just have to keep working...

But when is there a payoff? I feel like I'm just going through the motions every fuckin' day and nothing is happening.

What do you want to happen?

I want to write good songs. I want to lose weight and feel good physically. I want to have friends. I used to have friends. I'm not sure what happened. Their lives all changed. While I was off having accidents and relearning to walk, they all got busy doing other things and forgot about me.

I wish I had some answers. But it seems to me that you're doing some very important work. You may be just in a slump, farmboy. You've been working hard and you just might be a little tired.

A little frustrated is more like it.

I know, farmboy, I know. You have a right to be frustrated. I wish I could help more.

You help plenty, man. It's just that I get unhappy. I get in these moods and I don't know what to do about it. I wish I could eat something fun. I wish I would write a great, great song. Instead I keep on working and I feel nothing coming from it.

That's how you feel. That's not fact.

I know. And I know this will pass but, damn it, I wish it wouldn't fuckin' take so fuckin' long. I need change, and I need it soon.