I want a fuckin' surprise

 

Man, this is so fuckin' aggravating. Every day it seems like I do the same things, over and over again, and I don't want to do any of them. I don't want to walk, I don't want to practice, I don't want to write, I don't want to eat right. I want to have a cheeseburger and fries and watch bad TV. I want to be around people a little bit. I want a fuckin' surprise that's good once in a while. What the fuck am I going to do?

I don't know, farmboy. What the fuck are you going to do?

I don't have a fuckin' clue. I just returned from my walk, there's that. It's too bad that I hate walking. It's nice outside-- 81 degrees -- and the sky is blue and beautiful. Why do I just want to stay indoors all the time? I don't know. But I went and did it and now that it's over, I'm glad I did. I just wish I had something different to do, that's all. I wish I didn't have to be so fuckin' alone all the time. 

I know it's hard, farmboy. It's hard to be patient, especially with this pandemic going on. Everyone is feeling the stress.

I know. I feel bad for everyone. It's just...it's Sunday and I still have all this fuckin' work to do and nothing ever changes. But my walk is over and I'm almost finished with the stuff I have to do today. I'll get through it. I just wish there could be something different.