My first-class world problem

I don't feel so good, man.

What's wrong, farmboy?

I ate too much but didn't realize it till it was too late. So I just drank this, like, generic version of Alka-Seltzer. You know that stuff?

Of course.

I love that stuff. That's why I like mineral water. It tastes like Alka-Seltzer to me.

So anyway, I haven't been so stuffed in a long time. And it's that seriously uncomfortable stuffed feeling. I mean, it'll go away, I know, but I fuckin' hate it.

So there's my first-class world problem today.

What else did you do today, farmboy?

Um...it's Saturday. What did I do? Do I have to be honest? Okay, I fuckin' looked at porn on the internet and I jerked off. Then I listened to podcasts until I fell asleep. So I took a nap. Then I bought some groceries and then I went over to my brother's house where I did my laundry and ate too much homemade pasta.

How was it?

Fuckin' delicious, man. If I had to overeat I'm glad it was that. My sister-in-law made it. She's really a great cook.