Waves on the Pacific

Well, happy fuckin' new year, man!

You too, farmboy, happy new year. Where've you been?

I was social. I went to a New Year's Day music party. It was fun, and I did well being social. I've been isolating myself way, way too much.

I've noticed. I was going to ask you about that.

I guess there's been a certain amount of depression at times. But there have also been a few -- very few -- times where I've felt calm and at peace. And, you know me, I never feel calm and at peace. So I savor it a little. 

Why do you think you feel that way, farmboy? Calm, I mean.

There hasn't been the financial strain that I've been dealing with lately. Not that I'm doing well financially, mind you. I still have to watch every penny. But at least I'm not in a state of fuckin' panic every fuckin' minute.

I don't know the rest of it, though. Basically, I don't really try to analyze it much.

I don't blame you.

Man, I just want peace to wash up over me like waves on the Pacific. You know, not when they're these huge, scary, gigantic liquid monsters, but when it's like the end of the wave. You know? 

When it's a wave's final moment on shore?

Yeah. That's what I want peace to do. I want it to wash me clean.