Doing the heavy lifting

Tomorrow I go into the studio, man. Wish me luck.

Well, good luck, farmboy. Are you looking forward to it?

It'll be interesting, I can tell you that.

Why will it be interesting?

What I've basically been in the process of doing is trying to make music that feels natural, that sounds intimate, and I'm grabbing the reins of this runaway horse. I'm making it sound real natural, with the majority of songs being solo performances. There'll be a few backing musicians on some songs, but not many.

See, part of the problem, of course, is money, which is always part of the fuckin' problem. But the other part…fuck, you know, I feel that what I'm strongest at are writing these songs and arranging them for one voice and guitar. So, shit, why aren't I recording that? Plus I need to take some fuckin' chances, man. I need this to be an album that captures who I am with songs that I'm proud of…

Like your other albums?

This one's going one step further, with songs like "Snow" and "Love Exists," which are really personal. Other ones, too: "All That's Missing,""Imperfect Prayer."

Good. I'd like to see you be more personal.

Yeah, I'm hurting on this record. I mean, there are characters, like before, but I think I'm doing the heavy lifting on this one.

You know, the other problem that I have with creating a CD is that I tend to panic and react like it's a final exam that I'm cramming for.

Actually, farmboy. You do that with more than just recording. Every performance that you do…damn near everything you do, farmboy, you tend to treat like it's the final test your grade is based on.

And there's some good things about that, like I'm prepared and I know what I'm doing. That's always good. But what it mostly does is make me doubt myself and everything about me and it makes me feel like a failure even before I begin. And that's not good. I need to trust my instincts. Plus, that stress can't be good for the music.

I just don't think recording and making an album should be something I'm constantly punishing myself for. 

I don't think so either, farmboy.

So it has to stop. Now.