safe place

I found myself a safe place
with my heart beating
and oxygen moving in and out
and thoughts with nothing to do
pass on through
there's no need to doubt
and I'll come back
I know I will 
rejoin the human race
but I'm thinking maybe
I'm more human
in the safe place

yes in a world of no (new verse)

discouragement follows me
everywhereI go
in this planet of global warming
I'm 35 b3low
trying to protect myself
from blinding ice and snow
needing just a little kindness
to find a yes in a world of no
yes in a world of no

your listener

on and off of buses
in and out of cars
step by steeply foot by foot
you just put
one in front of the other
opening and closing doors
turn the key by hand
inch by inch
minute by minute
you're in it
no place to run for cover

let me tell you brother
let me tell you sister
give me your sorrows and your dreams
I will be your listener

new dictionary, new verse

some people do the nasty
some people do the deed
some people search the want ads
for exactly what they need
me, I'm built for comfort
I sure ain't built for speed
the only thin I call you is
satisfaction guaranteed

campfire in the sky

will you be there
at that campfire in the sky

hey! you in the corner

hey! you in the corner
get up off that chair
I got good news to tell you
and a message I should share
you may sing like Frank Sinatra
and dance like Fred Astaire
but you ain't going anywhere
you ain't going anywhere

hey! you in the shadows
standing at the door
lift your hand and turn the key
you ain't waiting anymore
you don't have to live your life
in debt to the company store
it don't matter anymore
it don't matter anymore

          maybe you get liberty
          or you get death
          time takes care 
          of all the rest

hey! you on the bleachers
stand right up and come on down
you don't need the people
that you've been hanging around
for now you get to live your life
above the cold hard ground
I believe you're glory bound
do you know you're glory bound?

peace of mind

I've been downtown
looking for my peace of mind
I've been downtown
looking for my peace of mind
but I'm learning
it's something that I may not find

I've looked under bridges
inside buildings, too
inside of boxes
I've been obnoxious
with foxes at the county zoo
my peace of mind is so unkind
it's hiding out of view

church mouse

quiet as a church mouse
that's what you are today
but it ain't always
gonna be that way
someday when you least suspect it
when you think you're unprotected
that's when you can expect it
to appear
the day is drawing near
when you'll believe you have a right
to be here

race

let's talk about race
let's talk about color
let's talk about people
let's talk about skin
let's talk about the present
let's talk about yesterday
let's talk about Portland
where to begin

some people are light
some people are dark
some people are
vaguely in between
some people are decent
some people are broken
some people are
just downright mean

but here in Portland
we say we abhor it
but as we stand before it
we try to ignore it
there's anger inside
with nowhere to store it
we say we're not for it
but we still ignore it

there's micro brews
and restaurants
and Hawthorne
and west of the river
pubs to meet
on Alberta street
and Uber will deliver

there's hipsters 
and there's trends
and there's money
and there's fashion
you look around
and hear few sounds
that sing
and ring
with passion

and I am one of many
I do not do my share
and one day it may explode
will we be prepared
there's lots of good
people in Portland
their love is stronger than hate
let's talk about people
let's talk about skin
let's talk about race
before it's too late

change

when life is unfair
(that is, most of the time)
and the traffic lights
are all stuck on red
and life is devoid
of both reason and rhyme
and everything else
is instead

          it will change
          it will change
          nothing ever
          stays the same

in trouble

what am I
what are you
what are we
gonna do
can't you see
you and me
are in trouble

call the feds
call 911
call the paramedics
call someone
cause we don't
and we won't
we're in trouble

          I don't want you to panic
          but I don't think it's romantic
          anymore
          to spend a lifetime hurting
          but I know one thing for certain
          there's no cure
          I'm completely sure

look at us
silly fools
we're no exception
to the rules
we twist and shout
we can't get out
we're in trouble

belt

it must be nice
to be able to look at a leather belt
and see it as a way
to hold up your trousers

logic

give me a second
let me think of a reason.
what was the question?

It's a secret

So you're making a new album, I hear. Is that true, farmboy.

Shhh...don't tell anybody. It's a secret.

But you are recording, right?

Not yet. I'm in preproduction, deciding which songs, what kind of instrumentation, making lead sheets and demos, that kind of thing.

Is it fun, farmboy?

Most of it is...well, I'm not sure it's fun, really. It can be amazingly satisfying. It can be amazingly frustrating. Making lead sheets is just plain fuckin' work, you know? But it is good. It's part of who I was born to be.

Most of these songs are post-accident. They're more personal than they usually are, and I'm going to be more vulnerable. But, you know, it's not like I have this huge audience just chomping at the bit for my next masterpiece.

"Chomping at the bit."

I think it's a reference to some horse thing. But I could be wrong.

I'm very pleased with the way it's going, so far. I think this could be a really fine recording. It's going to be pretty simple, I think. Recording starts in March and most likely will end in March. It will be released by May 12, which is when the CD release is being held. I'm doing a dual album release with a friend of mine, and I think it's gonna be a really good time. 

Pretty exciting, farmboy.

Keep thinking those good thoughts, man. I need all the support I can get, believe me.

when you decided

when you decided
you didn't want me anymore
I decided you were right
and I deserved to be ignored
and so that part of me
that was a lover and a friend
knew its days were numbered
coming to an end
when you decided
when you decided
I was not needed

blank page

blank page
I ain't afraid of you
sitting there judgemental
like you always do
daring me to write something
heartfelt and honest
like my life has reached a crossroads
and the devil is upon us
there must be 
a hero here among us

blank page
why do you hurt me today
giving me the urge to write
with nothing to say
telling me "go on, create
something heartfelt and honest"
I look at you and all I see
is a broken promise
forgive me if I'm
a doubting Thomas

          blank page
          you must die
          I will fill each empty space
          I'm filled with rage
          here's why
          I resent the way
          you make me look at my own face

blank page
I got a brand new Sharpie pen
I ain't afraid to use it
and I know what, how and when
you dare me to find inside
something heartfelt and honest
with nouns and verbs and adjectives
and not too many commas
man, my life
has so much drama
I can't believe I'm in this haze
maybe it's just old age
but it's too hard to disengage
from you
blank page

voice

my skin knows how to feel
my eyes know they can see
my tongue's good at tasting
whatever it will
but of all of my senses
here's my favorite choice
I like my ears
so I can hear
your voice

on this day for MLK

old man shit-for-brains
stands outside his bank of choice
and tells me that it's closed today
in an angry and condemning voice
he says it's closed today because 
then he uses a word I won't say
it's one more sad, sad story
of this day for MLK

           I don't want to be angry
           I just want to live
           and if I witness evil 
           I want to learn to someday forgive

old man shit-for-brains
has a good day on the internet
he types in words and lines of hate
and then he dares us to forget
it's down vote everything in sight
and it's everything my way
the racist scum and the Christian right
on this day for MLK

           I don't want to be angry
           I just want to live
           and if I witness evil 
           I want to learn to someday forgive

old man shit-for-brains
stupid asshole past his prime
I'm not thinking of him anymore today
I ain't gonna waste my time
I got better things to do
better words to say
better people to listen to
on this day for MLK

           I don't want to be angry
           I just want to live
           and if I witness evil 
           I want to learn to someday forgive

I don't want you to be honest

I don't want you to be honest
I need you to be kind
now you're just a broken promise
in a world I've left behind 
I don't want to face the truth
denial's what I choose
I don't want you to be honest
either way, I'm gonna lose

the poison inside

the poison inside
is torturing me so much
I'm disappearing

everything's evil

everything's evil
that I put in my body
there's too little of this
and too much of that
I work and I work
and no one applauds me
while everything I eat
transforms into fat
imagine that
everything is fat

everything's evil
in which I get enjoyment
don't look, touch or read
anything from anyone
I work and I work
my fuckin' life is employment
and now everything I eat
is no fun
it doesn't matter
than happy is fatter
I'm done

          with low-carb
          and no-carb
          and carbs are the worst
          just the thought of carbs
          is enough
          to make your stomach burst

everything's evil
and I am so hungry
for flour and sugar
and deep fried cheddar cheese
I'm afraid this nutrition
just don't become me
I need to have more
than no calories
I'm down on my knees
I'm begging you please
everything's evil
I'll meet you
at McD's

brothers of different colors

all the stars in the desert sky
are shining for you tonight
like electricity on a Christmas tree
calls for attention of sight
I was thinking of you
and the music we knew
so much cooler than all the others
I can't believe you're gone
we were brothers of different colors
brothers of different colors

what the fuck?

someday this all will be over
with courage and hard work and luck
someday this all will be over
and we'll say "what the fuck?
what the hell were we thinking
I can't comprehend
I don't understand
what the hell were we thinking
when we elected that small handed man 
when we elected that small handed man

when you're poor (rewrite)

when you're poor you wait in line

you wait in line all the time

and the line grows longer every day

when you're poor you do your time

you do your time waiting in line

and when it comes your time no one can say

when you're poor it's so frustrating

you're always waiting, anticipating

the very worst to come true

when you're poor it’s infuriating

time becomes grating

because waiting is all you ever do

         nobody cares unless you have money

         everyone's out for themselves

         nobody cares unless you have money

         and can make more money for somebody else

when you're poor you're always afraid

you're always afraid rent won't be paid

and those hungry children won't be fed

when you're poor they lay it on thick

you can't afford to be sick

it's one of life's dirty tricks and then you're dead

         nobody cares unless you have money

         there's never a reason to help out

         nobody cares unless you have money

         that's what the real world’s about

when you're poor you do your time

You do your time waiting in line

Hoping that it starts moving soon

when you're poor you do your time

You fall behind all the time

but that's okay when you owe the company store

life ain't no disneyland when you're poor, and what’s more

you grab any hope you can when you’re poor

Nobody cares unless you have money

reason

I listen for reason
when I listen to language
but music wins out
when it comes to my heart

middle name

it doesn't matter
I don't need to try
there's no use in hoping
let me tell you why
no matter what I do
everything stays the same
it's sad but it's true
bad luck's my middle name

you can call me an asshole
you can call me a friend
you can call me late for supper
but it'll happen again
something goes wrong
and I'm the only one to blame
it's the same old song
bad luck's my middle name

yes in a world of no (new ending)

everybody I meet
everywhere I go
go on living and keep
looking for a yes 
in a world of no
yes in a world of no

everybody I know

I am an old man
I still live by myself
I spend most of my time
maintaining my health
I have a doctor for this
a doctor for that
iron for thin blood
a gym to lose fat
there's only one problem
that's simple to see
everybody I know
is paid to be around me

I have no real friends
they're all busy these days
grandchildren and cruise ships
keep them far, far away
so I talk to the doctors
and nurses and staff
they joke about Friday
maybe we share some laughs
but that's not the way
I wish it would be
everybody I know
is paid to be around me

          what I would give to be young again
          maybe even have some kind of career
          over the hill is a sad, bitter pill
          you swallow till you disappear

I am an old man
these folks aren't my friends
but I can't wait
till I see them again
I show up early
I wait for the bus
just one more stranger
returning to dust
I limp on home and 
turn on the TV
everybody I know
is paid to be around me

peace for now

I don't know
how long it will last
but I ain't asking
why or how
I only know this second
is better than my past
and I'm at peace for now

I can't say
if I'm deserving
I just hang on
to that gospel plow
my history's 
not worth observing
and I'm at peace for now

          I've always lived
          with my head in the clouds
          but for once I'm somewhere 
          where it isn't allowed

I won't bet
on tomorrow
I ain't no prophet
or wise old owl
I just know 
I ain't suffering in sorrow
and I'm at peace for now
I'm at peace for now

I keep walking

I keep walking
even though I don't know why
I keep talking
though all I want to do is cry
I keep moving
though I swear I'm standing still
nothing's improving
yet I think it always will
I keep walking
like I'll get somewhere 
someday

I keep learning
even though some say I don't
home fires burning
as I pour whiskey down my throat
I try running
but both my legs are broken down
something's coming
yeah, I said that last go round
but I keep walking
like I'll get somewhere
someday

I keep crying
I keep sharpening my knife
I keep trying
I keep fighting for my life
I need help here
I'm drowning on dry ground
I am not waving
this time I'm going down
and I keep walking
like I'll get somewhere
someday
I keep walking
I keep walking
anyway

needs get unmet

plans fail
hope is lost
you're not to blame
but you pay the cost
people misuse you
life gets upset
it's all to confuse you
needs get unmet
needs get unmet

nothing repays you
for all that you miss
life swings at you
with your father's fist
it's your sins
it's your shame
don't ever forget
it's all under your name
needs get unmet
needs get unmet

convince yourself
say your prayers
question if
there's something there
in the end
still the same old bet
needs get unmet
needs get unmet

tomorrow's just
another day
try not to get
in its way
tell yourself
it's not over yet
needs get unmet
needs get unmet
needs get unmet
needs get unmet

used to people

I am used to people
thinking they're too good for me
I am used to people
telling me what I should be
I am used to people's
personal point of view
that doesn't include
people who are not you

I am used to people
telling me that I'm wrong
I am used to people
who believe I don't belong
with their class of people
I am not one who deserves
to be among the privileged
I am the one who serves

I am used to people
who kick me to the dust
so you'll need to forgive me
I have not learned to trust
I am used to people
who consider me a fool
I am not used
to someone like you

I only hope you're true

speed dial ideas

since I was born
I've spent my life on trial
I got suicide hotline
on speed dial

don't tell me I'm in denial...

hopeful thinking ain't my style...

holding back tears like a crocodile...

I found my face in the reject file...

I'll get better
but it's gonna take a while...