the inconvenience store

today I went to the inconvenience store
where nothing was what it was before
the sales clerk told me to help myself
but everything was on the top shelf
the milk was sold in ten-gallon jugs
and the manager was high on designer drugs
the whole wheat bread was two weeks old
and the hired help was bought and sold
the entry door was locked and gated
all the coffee was decaffeinated
to see it, you would have to laugh
(you'd need a little half & half)
the wild rice looked like sad confetti
and the meatballs ate all the spaghetti
oh no! come quick! one customer cried
and it took all his courage to come inside
where apples argued with potted plants
about the toast imported from France
the artichokes sang an old folk song
(the only thing that didn't go wrong!)
the twinkies and ding-dongs never grew old
with as many preservatives that you could behold
and just when you thought it was all finished
the orange juice insulted the spinach
and I yelled "I can't take it no more!"
and walked out of the inconvenience store