Thursday, May 29, 2014

I bet plunge ain't really a word


Hey, man, did I tell you what I did?

No, farmboy. what did you do?

I fixed the shower drain all by myself.

Do tell…

Hey, you don't have to be some kind of smart-ass about it.

I'm just joking with you, farmboy. How did you fix the shower drain? What's that stuff called? The chemical stuff?

Drano?

Drano! That's it!

So back to my adventure…

Yes, back to your adventure…

Well, man, I didn't use no fuckin' Drano, I tell you what. I use the more environment-friendly old-fashioned remedy of pouring some baking soda down the drain, followed by a half-cup or so of vinegar. I let it sit for a while -- it gets all foamy, man, it's so fuckin' cool -- then I get the plunger and I…

Plunge?

Yeah, that's what I do, plunge. Gimme a fuckin' break, man. I bet plunge ain't really a word.

Anyway, then all this gross goop comes out and you just get rid of it and…voila! A plunged shower drain! A work of beauty, if I say so myself.

(quietly)  And you do say so…

Hey! I heard that! 

Seriously, farmboy. Congratulations on your new-found independence and self-reliance.

You're putting me on, man…

No, I'm serious. Every little step you make is amazing. Remember that, farmboy.

Jeez, man, you sound like a fuckin' greeting card.

Answer this, farmboy: Did unclogging the drain make you feel good?

Uh, yeah, man. I had this feeling of accomplishment, and that's cool.

So, man,what's the fuckin' point of this whole conversation?

There's no point, farmboy. I just thought all of this might be something to think about.

Yeah, yeah. All I know is that I can shower without having my feet trudging in dirty bathwater.

Trudge! 

Yeah. Now, there's an interesting word for you.


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