still searching

I don't mean to sound melodramatic
but I can't see any sense of hope
here's a list of what I do
to make it through
to help me cope
first off, I take the blame
I know it's all my fault
guilt's my Christian name
maybe it is by default
take whatever I say
with a grain of salt
(consider the source
he's just a little off course
just ask the folks 
on the police force)
but I'm still searching
I'm still searching