Three in the morning at Denny's

So I just returned from my fuckin' daily walk. Doesn't this stuff get any easier? You know, since the accident a few years ago, I been trying, man, I've been working. I want to feel like everybody else in the world...

How do you know what everyone else in the world feels, farmboy?

You know what I mean.

No, I'm not sure I do.

I want to feel normal, like a regular human being. I'm not comfortable in my own skin, as they say. I've always been weird -- I think that's what happens when you're afraid of your dad and you don't have many friends and you never learn to fuckin' play. Stuff like that. I've always felt isolated, and it's gotten to the point where I just can't fuckin' stand it anymore.

You don't want to be isolated...

I want to have friends, I want to play music, I want to have big major discussions at three in the morning at Denny's. I'll always need lots of alone time, but, damn it, it's like fuckin' solitary confinement here. And to add to that, none of the work I put in has any payoff.

I know, farmboy. You've said that before. I don't know what to say. I see you trying, I see you working hard at all kinds of things. I don't know why nothing ever changes. I know it's frustrating for you. All I can advise is to be patient, but you know that.

Yeah, I know that. I know that over and over and over.

Anyway, I guess my daily walk is finished, so that's done until tomorrow. Now all I have to do
is finish writing, practice music, go to my therapist, meditate, and try to eat correctly, all the while suffering from a major depressive disorder and PTSD, and worrying about money and my future.

No wonder I smoke so much weed.