Kill me now

I've been fuckin' trying all morning to get my financial stuff in order so I can talk to this financial advisor, and I have had no luck. Nothing but messages telling me I can't do a thing. Everything is going wrong, and we're in the middle of this fuckin' pandemic and I'm completely overwhelmed.

Relax, farmboy. You're in a panic. Take a deep breath.

(farmboy takes a deep breath) Yes, I'm in a panic. Everything is so much more complicated and nothing is working. My fuckin' computer keeps fuckin' up, man, and I don't know what to do.

Take care of yourself. It'll all get done. Take a break and come back to it later.

But why does everything keep fucking up? What's the fuckin' problem here? Why does everything have to be so fuckin' hard?

Breathe, farmboy. Just relax. It will all be okay.

But why? Why does everything always have to fuck up?

I fuckin' give up. Kill me now. Get me away from all this bullshit. It's been this way my whole life, everything has to fuck up. And I'm so fuckin' sick of it. Help me here, I'm drowning.

Take a break. Get away from it. You can come back later. There are people who can help you. It is not impossible. You've got me here to talk to when things get rough. 

Have you taken a Klonopin today?

I just took one. It hasn't had any effect yet. I think I may smoke a little weed and maybe meditate. I hate when this shit happens, I get all crazy.

Thanks, man. You've been a lot of help. I'll calm down. I think I may be calming down right now. It will get better. Thank you.