Imperfect prayer, take two

Now what do we talk about?

Anything you want, farmboy.

Um...

Do you want to do the writing practice again?

You don't mind?

Of course not. Here we go. (looks at watch) Okay, start.

This is my foggy mind

Awake from dreams and sleep

These are my simple words

I ask the Lord my soul to keep

These are my plans I've made

Fallen to disrepair

This is my

Imperfect prayer

I continued from yesterday. Imperfect Prayer, take two. Hope you don't mind.

I think that's a good thing to do. Do you think this one's a keeper?

I have no fuckin' idea. Of course I hope that it is, but right now I think the important thing is just that I write, to get in that habit. And also to see if I can get some stuff that interests me enough to work on it.

So far I think you're doing well.

I'm writing. That's all that matters.

Raw material

Okay, go ahead. Start me off.

Not so fast. Start you off with what?

Like we did yesterday, you know, with the writing.,,

You liked that, did you?

I did. And I know I can do this on my own, but it's more fun this way.

All right, then. Ready?

Ready.

3...2...1...Start!

This is the cracking in my voice

These are the wrinkles on my skin

This is the sound of one heart breaking

Like a thrown out piece of porcelain

These are the tears of one soul trying

This is the mouth that too often swears

This is my

Imperfect prayer

Very nice, farmboy, Really nice, in fact. That's very good.

Thanks. I really think this is good for me...and maybe I should do this on my own, too. It's sure interesting. I think part of the purpose I'm looking at is to see what raw material I can get to work with. The main other thing is the craft thing, the practice thing, y'know? Malcolm Gladwell wrote that book Outliers about that kind of thing, spending hours and hours and hours. I heard this great interview with him on that podcast Radiolab and he talked about the ingredient of love of what you're doing. (laughs) I'm not explaining this fuckin' thing very well, am I?

You're doing fine, farmboy.

Thanks.

Anyway, thanks for doing this with me. It's good not to be lonely all the time. I 'preciate it, man.

Any time. I like this.

Me too.

You just keep writing, you know?

Oh, man, I need to write a fuckin' song.

Okay. Go ahead. One verse. (checks watch) Start now!

I want you to be my bad influence

I need you to show me

The wrong side of the tracks

I want you to be my bad influence

I want to run away with you

And never look back

Wow! That was fast...

Yeah, You just keep writing, you know?

You make it sound so easy -- and so hard.

That might be what it is, But what I'm doing right there -- well, I'm not going to make and excuses or judgements. That really is a good thing to do -- writing on the spot like that.

But thanks! Maybe I'll write some more of that tomorrow, We'll see.

That might be a good idea, farmboy.

Like I say: We'll see.

I'm glad I can read

You know what I like?

Um...I know some things you like...

I like fiction. I like non-fiction. I like having other people's thoughts in my head and not my own fuckin' thoughts. I mean, you know, I like my own thoughts a good deal of the time, but not always, you know?

I know...

I'm almost finished with the John Irving novel and I've been listening to The Discomfort Zone, the memoir by Jonathan Franzen. Both are really great. I'm glad I can read.

Have you ever written prose?

Oh, sure. And I can be good at it. But one thing I know for sure is that I'm a songwriter. Putting lyrics and melody together I'm pretty natural at. Which is funny, because it's usually so hard to write a song, you know? Which, in a way, is...it has a quality that's just a mystery. And in a way, I'm glad.

You like the mystery, farmboy?

Yeah. It can be maddening in a way...Or waiting might be the maddening thing about it. Iris DeMent, do you know her stuff?

I've heard her on NPR. Wonderful voice.

Yeah. She's a great songwriter, too. She once said that songwriting is just waiting. And sometimes that seems so true.

She has a song called "Let the Mystery Be."

Hmmm. Good advice.

That song's about God.

(laughs) This is gettin' scary, man.

Invisibility vs. Flight

Hey, farmboy, what's going on?

Let.s not talk about that.

Let's talk about something else. Because what I do, over and over and over, is just tell you about my day. I don't know what else to talk about, offhand, but I just don't want to talk about my fuckin' day, you know.

Fine with me.

Ask me anything.

Okay. If you could have a superpower, would in be a) the ability to be invisible, or b) the ability to fly?

I heard this once. It was on This American Life. John Hodgman, I think. Invisibility vs. Flight.

Exactly. Which would you choose, farmboy?

Flight. No contest.

I just want to fly for the physicality of it. Just to see what it feels like. I bet it would feel bitchin', you know. It would just be natural, you wouldn't be afraid. Can you imagine? I mean, I have problems driving over fuckin' bridges, for God's sake.

And invisibility?

Sometimes I feel like I've always been invisible.

Tonight's supper

You know, I just want credit. I want a witness. I deserve a merit badge...

What are you talking about, farmboy?

Ahem...Tonight's supper: stir-fry tofu and vegetables over brown rice with reduced-sodium soy sauce,

Mmmm, Sounds good...and healthy.

Which is why I want some fuckin' credit, damn it. I need brownie points. Is there such a thing as self-karma?

If there isn't, then there should be.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

It makes sense...

Don't it? Man, I could use some self-karma about now.

The very first pizza

Beer! I'm a-drinkin' beer!

Whoa. That's really unusual. For you.

I know. We'll see just how many of these beers I drink. I'm not terribly worried. This is good, though -- it's, like, cheap beer from Mexico that's sold at Trader Joe's. It's really very good.

Right now, in the oven, is the very first pizza I've ever made, by the way.

Seriously?

Yeah, can you fuckin' believe it? It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I bought the dough at Trader Joe's, too. I like Trader Joe's.

What about music, farmboy?

I played for the kids at one of the local hospitals. It was great, very intimate. I went from room-to-room. It went very well.

And I wrote most of what will be the first draft for a new song. I don't know how I feel about it -- I haven't gone back over it since I wrote it. It does feel good to write, though.

That's great, farmboy. You sound pretty -- well, "even."

That's what I'm focusing on, anyway. I've felt a little down today, a little fearful...of nothing in particular. But, look, I'm fine. I'm not panicking, not me, no sir-ree-bob...

Are you being serious?

Oh, I've been a little panicky lately. But, you know, I do breathe. (laughs) I kinda think that I'm beginning to sabotage myself these days a little. Kinda like "Look, you're getting close to being professional now -- let's see how you fuck up. Go on, try not to, farmboy. I dare you. Try not to fuck it up."

That sucks.

Tell me about it. That's why I'm electing to ignore it.

Makes sense to me.

Yep. I got me a guitar, a computer, I got beer...

You got homemade handmade pizza.

Hey, man -- I got rhythm. Who could ask for anything more?