meditation for dummies

you may think it's silent
but listen closely
you might hear
the sound of your own heart

I'm still amazed. It's amazing

I'm sorry to complain, but I'm just really tired of being in physical pain -- even though it's not extreme pain by any means -- and side effects from medications and all that fuckin' shit. It just seems never-ending. I know I'm just whining, but I want to go back to not feeling so fuckin' lousy all the time, man.

I bet, farmboy. It's been almost two weeks. That's a long time.

I'm just such a wimp when it comes to pain. 

You know, farmboy, it is pain and you feel bad. But you're taking care of it and it'll be over soon. And then you can go back to your normal life of, well...

Being depressed and worrying about money?

Those are your words.

And they're true words. But, you know, I'm still so knocked out by what my songwriter friends did -- pitching in to help me -- that I'm not all that depressed. I am grateful, man. I'm still amazed. It's amazing.

And it's lasting longer than this temporary physical pain, farmboy.

I'm gonna sound so corny, but I think some part of this is gonna last forever.

It will, farmboy. There's no two ways about it.

Yep. And that's the way it should be.

you belong

no matter what you say
words can stand and block the way
I have news for you today
you belong
you belong

The highlight of my day

Boy, I tell you, man, it's not that I'm super-depressed or anything. I'm mainly just waiting for this stupid injuring-my-leg thing to be over. I'm fuckin' ready, man. I mean, not only is there this fuckin' physical pain involved but the drugs I'm taking have these side effects like nausea and the whole thing is just a drag that's dragged on now for over a week. And I know that it ain't nothing, but I just want to move on.

And you will, farmboy. It's a fact, which I'm sure you know. You're a smart guy. When do you go to the doctor next?

Tomorrow after work.

So you're back at work, eh?

Yeah. It beats laying around the house thinking about how much I'm hurting. I mean, you can't sleep forever and sleeping seems to be the highlight of my day lately.

But, you know, I'm not depressed. This is just everyday living stuff that happens, man.

It's good that you know that, farmboy. How long until you go to bed?

Oh, an hour or two. I'm gonna take some pain meds. That'll help me fall asleep. Then I'll wake up and go to work. But in the meantime I'll be in bed. One of my favorite places, you know.

Me too. Especially on weekends.

Yeah, that's the best. When you can drink coffee at midnight and stay up and smoke weed and go to bed at, say, three or four in the morning.

And you can get up whenever you want.

That's so great. I don't know if there's any time that's better than Friday night or Saturday morning.

Now you've got something to look forward to, farmboy.

I do! Now I just have to get through the rest of the week first...

no good

today I did not capture imagination
I stayed within my boundaries
and performed my menial tasks
robot-like
cut and dry
no emotion 
no imagination and no emotion
is no good
for those of us
who put words to melodies
we keep thinking:
there should be more
there must be more
and knowing
that there is
but not knowing
when

Impatient

My fuckin' leg still hurts, man. It's been a week, I've gone too the doctor, I take the medications and it still hurts.

Sorry to hear that, farmboy. Don't you go to the doctor this coming week?

Yeah, I go on Wednesday. 

I'm just being impatient, man.

You? farmboy impatient?

Sarcasm does not become you, asshole.

I have known

I have known great kindness