Other beings of my species

Man, there's just been all this stuff. I unconsciously made this decision -- I may have told you, I don't remember -- anyway, I made this decision to say yes to things, to have contact with other beings of my species this summer. 

So I've been out to a pickin' party and a 4th of July party and I hung out with my old banjo teacher who was visiting from Austin, Texas.He's a good guy and we played music and talked a bunch. He's such a fine musician, Eddie is.

That all sounds good, farmboy. So what's the problem?

I don't really have a problem, per se. Is that French?

Is what French?

Per se.

I don't know. 

We should Wikipedia it.

Is Wikipedia a verb now?

Sure it is! It's an action verb. You can look it up on Wikipedia, if you want.

So what's going on with this new social leaf that you've turned?

I'm just trying to go to this camp for songwriters. And I'm trying to go to California. And money is a problem and I'm trying to exercise and feel better and eat healthier...

It sounds like you might be trying to do too much, farmboy.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that I don't want to fuckin' isolate myself anymore. I learned that the first week of summer break, man.

Just take everything at your own speed as much as you can, and try not to get overwhelmed.

That's the word for it, man. Overwhelmed. That's what I've been. Thanks.

For what, farmboy?

For naming it. It's always good to be able to identify your situation, you know?

damage I can do

I've done a lot of damage
raised a lot of hell
but nothing as bad
as I inflict upon myself
you say you know me
but you don't know what I been through
you ain't seen nothing, baby,
compared to the damage I can do

One step closer to agoraphobia

So...

A needle pulling thread?

Um...what?

So. A classic Peter Gabriel album?

You're a funny guy.

I thought you'd be impressed, farmboy. 

So, as I was trying to say before I got interrupted, I've made this kind of unconscious decision to say yes to stuff this summer. Like, I've been to two music events and brought my guitar and played. And I have a chance to go to this songwriting camp my buddy Matt puts on. 

Are you going?

I kinda have to, you know? If I don't then I'm just a fuckin' coward who is one step closer to agoraphobia. 

It would be good for you, farmboy.

I'm gonna do it, man. I think I need to go, in a way. Change up things. Be around other songwriters. Maybe make some...

Friends?

Well, let's not go too far.

something happened

I was driving on a back road
around Ojai, California
when something happened
and I don't know exactly what it was
it was like my mind
cracked in two
I did what I could do
but something didn't care
something just does stuff
just because

just because
it doesn't like you
just because
it wants to see you cry
because it wants to see you
bid yourself goodbye
something happened

something happened
and you don't know what it is,
mister

matter

I want to matter
to somebody
to anyone who
will take me in
I want you to say
that I belong there
there's nothing wrong there
where the broken pieces mend
it's just that
if you let me
if you really do accept me
if you promise you're here to stay
it could never be okay
I'd only have to run away
and reject you in return

fourth of july

he was all lit up
like the fourth of july

sad haiku

wind on naked skin
I'm trying to imagine
that I'm someone else