mister forever on the run

remember when you used to go outside
back when you would backpack
with the switchbacks and the trails
now you deadbolt the windows and hide
with too many fuckin' memories
and a stubborn need to fail

it's too bad
what a waste
you've known joy
you've had a taste
it's a fuckin' disgrace
what you've become
mister forever on the run

What I learned yesterday

Hey, man. Let me tell you what I learned yesterday. 

I learned that I go into instant panic at problems that panic won't help. It's like something happens physically. Is that the right word? You know, adrenaline and hormones and that kind of shit.

I think that's what actually happens when you go into panic mode, farmboy. You're definitely feeling it physically.

It's so fuckin' weird, man. It's like I get kinda possessed and I'm not myself and I have no control and I fuckin' hate that, man.

Well, you're aware of it and that's the first step. Now pay attention when it happens again and get if it's something that's identifiable and predictable.

Like taking data, in a way.

In a way, yes, farmboy.

Cool. I can do that. I do stuff like that at work all the time. I can do that. No problem, man.

all I can do

all I can do
is all I can do
and all is never
good enough

head on home to you, rewrite two

long day
long night
nothing seems
to work out right
I wish I may
I wish I might
head on home to you

without your love
what can I be
but a broken sailor
in a broken sea
all I want, babe
all I need
is to head on home to you

          when the world is angry
          looking to cause me harm
          I only need the shelter
          of your arms

stubborn silence
empty words
love unspoken
and unheard
all I need, babe
to be cured
is to head on home to you

          when the world is angry
          in business with the blues
          I know which direction
          to choose

long night
long days
everything 
is not okay
trouble
get out of my way
I'm heading home to you
there's no more words
for me to say
I'm heading home to you

I'm fuckin' desperate, man

Man, it's bad news again. Bad financial news. Is there any other kind of financial news? Anyway, I've been fuckin' frantic over this stuff and well...I just don't fuckin' know, man. This shit won't give me a fuckin' break. 

I know you won't believe this right now, farmboy, but it'll be okay. You'll be okay.

It's too much, man, it's all too fuckin' hard. I need help. I need help now and I don't know what   I'm gonna do. I'm fuckin' desperate, man.

Take some deep breaths, farmboy. Panicking doesn't help. Just relax and be calm. You'll be all right, I promise you.

I want to calm down, man, but I don't know if it's possible.

Try.

I'm gonna have to, won't I? I don't know. I don't know if sleep is possible. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know who to turn to. I just don't fuckin' have a clue, man. I owe some money and got a shitload of bad news today and I'm fuckin' frantic.

I can't do this by myself, man. I need help and I need it now.

head on home, rewrite one

long day
long night
nothing seems
to turn out right
I wish I may
I wish I might
head on home to you

without your love
what can I be
but a broken sailor
lost at sea
all I want, babe
all I need
is to head on home to you

          when the world is angry
          looking to cause me harm
          I only need the shelter
          of your arms

busted promises
empty words
love unspoken
and unheard
what I'm needing
to be cured
is to head on home to you

          when the world is angry
          in business with the blues
          I just need a love
          that is true

long night
long days
everything 
is not okay
I need to
be on my way
heading home to you

head on home to you

long day
long night
nothing seems
to turn out right
I wish I may
I wish I might
head on home to you

without your love
what can I be
but a broken boat
lost at sea
all I want, babe
all I need
is to head on home to you