Payday

Man, I tell you, I can't fuckin' wait for tomorrow.

Why is that, farmboy? As if I didn't already know…

Yeah, it's easy to figure tout because it's Friday. But it's also payday!

Payday is always good.

You know, payday for me is really just about the illusion that I have money. 'Cause I really don't, you know. I got all these fuckin' bills to pay, I got rent, I got groceries. 

I'm glad that you pay those things, farmboy. A lot of people don't. Really, if you look at everything, you're really very responsible.

Well, it's a lot of work, I tell you what. It's fear that drives me in that way. I'm afraid of the consequences.

Which is fine as long as you're not overly afraid.

So fuckin' true, man, I tell you. I hate it when fear rules over my life. That's the way it's always been. I hope that ends someday. I've been working on that forever.

But, back to payday, I always feel a sense of accomplishment after I pay bills and rent and shit. I feel like, well, at least I'm taking care of myself.  

And then you go and do something musical.

Well, really, that's what all of this is for. And it's worth it as long as I can make noises and write stories that I like. 

Songwriting.

That's it, man. That's my reason for being in this world.

breathe

breathe in
breathe out
keep calm
don't talk
get out
while you can
catch a bus
run or walk

shake the etch-o-sketch

you gotta change your attitude, darlin'
you gotta learn to smile
you gotta walk that walk and talk that talk
and you gotta do it in style
you might have to burn some bridges
when you walk that extra mile
but it's good to shake the etch-o-sketch
every once in a while

company town

the longer I stay
in this company town
city of the angels
los ángeles

It's, as they say, fuckin' good for me

So I was making this curry-coconut milk thing with toasted garbanzo beans, and I needed to get it in the tupperware 'cause I was going out to see my songwriter pals…

Wait! Sorry to interrupt you, farmboy, but did I just hear you say that you went out?

Yeah.

To see friends?

Uh, yeah.

Well, aren't you Mr. Social.

Fuck off, asshole.

Ooooh, testy…

What the fuck's up, man? 

This is not a criticism, this is just an observation.

Which means it's criticism.

No, this is positive. What I've seen is that you've been going out lately. I can think of three instances where you went out for music.

Yeah, well, that's all on purpose, man. I think I'm happier if I have some contact with the outside world. Anyway, it's pretty cool so far. It's, as they say, fuckin' good for me.

I'm glad to see it, farmboy. You need to have friends.

I have friends.

You might want to try contacting them more often...

Yeah, and fuck off, needle nose.

I'm sorry, farmboy. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I just think that it's good that you're getting out. 

Yeah, me too.  It feels like a good decision, this going out more. So far I'm comfortable doing it. I'm hoping I'll do more. Maybe I'll even start performing more.

Recording would be good, too.

I would love to, but first I need to write songs.

Which is what you do.

I try, man.

my problem, according to you

my problem, according to you
is so fuckin' easy to see
it's right on my face
I'm too much like me
please tell me who I am
please tell what I do
I'm so fuckin' glad
that I found you

flea

everything happened
so long ago
how I ended up here
I will never know
I am living in the state of confusion
in a country that 'tis of thee
I am but a flea 
on a tick 
on a dog
in a world
of half-assed history
          oh my God
          what have I done?
          my life's almost over
          and I've only just begun