I am my own Chris Gethard

I was lonely and scared
no one by my side
all day I moaned
all night I cried
then I heard Chris Gethard
and I knew what to do
I called Beautiful/Anonymous
but I couldn't get through 
oh, woe is me
I wish I were dead
but then a lightbulb
went off in my head
and I said:

I am my own Chris Gethard
now I encourage myself
someday I'll have it all together
with Geth to thank for my mental health
I don't sing along to Def Leppard
Morrissey's the music I make
I am my own Chris Gethard
I now give myself a break          

          I'm kind and understanding
          and to myself I listen
          I request forgiveness
          instead of begging permission

I am my own Chris Gethard 
though I'm not as funny as he
but you might say we're birds of a feather
winning in the struggle to be free
sometimes my life's the F-word
but the next day I always start anew
I am my own Chris Gethard
so he'll have time to be Chris Gethard, too
the one and only!
no other Chris Gethard will do
he ain't baloney
Chris Gethard, we love you

I'm here

I'm here
for all the good it'll do me
everyone will see through me
when I say I'm doing fine
I'm here
I'm making an appearance
I hope I'm not an interference
I know that I'm
not the kind
of man you hoped to find

I'm here
is it okay to leave now
I think I'll take my final bow
and head on out the door
it's clear
that I simply don't belong here
that I only can do wrong here
don't get too near
I'll disappear
but for now I'm here

          there's a starlit night
          there's the rising moon
          there's the stillness
          and silence
          safe in my room
          alone 

I'm here
I've fulfilled my duty
give my freedom to me
and I'll be on my way
I'm sincere
I really should go now
 'cause, well, I don't know how
to ignore this fool in the mirror
the falling of a single tear
I don't know why but one thing's clear
I'm here
I'm here
I'm here

no lessons learned

there is nothing
that I know how to do
that helps with grieving
and/or rejection
I'm just the loser
and there are no lessons learned
except:
never allow yourself
to feel close
to anybody
ever

my world

my world
doesn't revolve around
your petty problems
my world
revolves around
my petty problems
and don't you forget it

No one ever hears me

Goddamn sonovabitch. What the fuck? 

farmboy! You're back! How was Ireland?

Ireland was great. But now I'm back to my life here, in which either nothing happens or everything goes fuckin' wrong. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm very, very grateful for the trip, believe me. I'm just so fuckin' frustrated because I come back here and fuckin' everything goes wrong. It's fuckin' uncanny, man. I can't fuckin' believe it! It's li!e this morning I'm going to the gym and I can't fuckin' go because the bus has no schedule now. For the second time I look like a fool to my trainer because fuckin' Trimet can't get its shit together. We're talking about buses not coming, for God's sake. It's not lateness; it's buses not even showing up. 

You're angry, farmboy...

And nothing will happen. That's all my life fuckin' is, man, all sorts of anger and hurt and pain and nothing fuckin' changes! No one ever hears me! I know I'm being irrational and self-pitying and stuff, but I'm mad and frustrated and hurt and I don't want to feel like this forever. (starts crying)

It's okay, farmboy, you're going to be all right...

No I'm not. Not this time. 

It's not fair.

trouble's back in town

trouble's back in town
and trouble's looking for you
trouble's out on the streets
asking everyone it meets
if they know where you're around
if they know where you'll be found
oh, trouble
trouble's back in town

you should have stayed away
you had trouble off your trail
but trouble kept looking
trouble kept cooking
and now trouble's here to remind you
it knows where to find you
oh, trouble
trouble's gonna wine and dine you
and show you a good time
you got trouble

          trouble's back in town
          trouble's back in town

trouble be my witness
trouble fear my strength
someday you're gonna fight back
with everything you got
and on the double
trouble's gonna get real hot
but not as hot as you
can get when something holds you down
oh, trouble
yes, trouble
trouble's back in town

          trouble's back in town
          trouble's back in town

arrivals and departures

arrivals and departures
I am waiting for my flight
I'll be leaving in the morning
I'm arriving late tonight
I have gone through US customs
and they okayed me even though
I'm the one guy in this airport
they really ought to know

arrivals and departures
no one has the slightest clue
of the trouble I could cause
of the damage I can do
this is what I was born for
my whole entire life
if you believe in something 
you'll make the sacrifice

there is no one who will notice
as I board upon this flight
I am an American
my hair is trimmed
my skin is white
I work out so I look good
I stand five feet and eleven
tomorrow morning you can find me
enjoying life in heaven

arrivals and departures
attention everyone
I mean everything I say
and I got myself a gun
now I am the pilot 
listen close to every sound
this is all god's plan
I am taking us
I am taking us
down

Dublin Airport, Ireland