what I'm not supposed to hear

it's not a secret
what you think of me
you put it out there
for all our little world to see
but this time you got me
I can't believe my ears
I heard what 
I'm not supposed to hear

ever since I was a child
I've been the damage of good intentions
you all just mean the best
you just take the wrong direction
if I'm not up to your standards
say it to me plain and clear
instead it's something
I'm not supposed to hear

at this party

quick
get me my klonopin
break out the weed
isolation
is what I need
would you be
a friend indeed 
and get me out of here
because I'm going
to blow my top
and my volcanic rage
ain't gonna stop
in other words
I'm gonna interrupt
the entire atmosphere

          we need to go now
          I don't know how
          but I shouldn't be allowed
          at this stupid party

I need to find
an exit out
you don't want
to hear me shout
what the fuck
is this all about
let me make this clear
I'm gonna act
like a terrorist
you'll be so
embarrassed
better call 
my therapist
and get me out of here

          we need to go now
          I don't know how
          but I shouldn't be allowed
          at this party

if we don't leave this party
soon I'm gonna scream
I can give you a preview
if you don't know what I mean

          we need to go now
          I don't know how
          but I shouldn't be allowed
          at this party

music is the only thing I trust

music is the only thing I trust
everyone will let you down
it's not their fault
because they must
because they are only human
basically like you
you run around like headless turkeys
incapable of knowing what to do

complicated

let's make everything complicated
let's make sure nothing gets done
let's brainstorm and have more meetings
let's second guess everyone
let's talk and talk and talk and talk
professionals are we
let's impress each other
and pretend we all agree

          everything I say
          they tell me I'm all wrong
          everything I am
          they say doesn't belong

Shreveport

she moved back to Shreveport
to the house where she was a kid
to the house of memories
the house where her mom and dad had lived
now they were gone
like the summer
and the summer before
now they are gone
and they ain't coming back no more
to Shreveport

ashen sky

sun breaks through an ashen sky
please don't take it away
I've had as much darkness
as a man can stand
if I ask for reasons why
please don't turn me away
I'm sorry I can't
cheer up on demand

speed dial

I do everything 
I'm supposed to do
except maybe 
a thing or two
or three or four
or even more
I got no idea
what's in store
don't tell me
I'm in denial
I got the suicide hotline 
on speed dial