story

I am too frightened
to see myself in the mirror
to hear myself on voice mail
to play my own songs
speak my own words
tell my own stories
which is all good, I suppose,
but:
even if I don't play my own songs
even if I never hear my voice
even if I practice silence
I will still have a story to tell
because, like it or not,
the story keeps being written

in this tamale

in this tamale I can taste
all those Christmases before
when presents were purchased
at the downtown goodwill store
but family was all around
to keep the children safe an sound
and the wolves away from the door
in this tamale I can taste
all the Christmases before

doorstep

I'm on your doorstep
can I take one more step
onto the high wire 
to your heart
did I mention
I've got some questions
about the wildfire
we're about the spark

I don't want you changing
or rearranging
I like you fine just
the way you are
I know for certain
I'm through with hurting
I need the stardust
of your sweet charms

thankful

I am thankful for the moments
when I don't have to think
about what is wrong
what is right
what's the meaning
of my life
everything is
black or white
there are no shades of gray
sometimes I don't feel the need
to take some drugs and drink
I feel so warm
lying in bed
no need for pillows
over my head
I don't have the wish
of being dead
here's all I got to say
I'm thankful for making it through
another day

calm

I wanna be calm
I want brain cells to slide
back inside
where they're supposed to be
I wanna be calm
take me far away
I need to stay
not too close to me
can't you see
that I, I, I, I
don't know what to do
I wanna be calm
just like you

I wanna be normal
I want to find myself
like everybody else
not be such a freak
I'm not so horrible
I want to be someone
I can count upon
so to speak
I can't compete
because I, I, I, I
am lost as lost can be
I wanna be calm
please pass me the bong
I wanna be calm
just like you
and not like me

night

the night is a haunted daydream
the night is where I disappear
the night is spending my money
on cocaine, women and beer
the night hollers
"boy, where's your sense at?"
the boy hollers
"hey! I'm standing right here!"
the night is a few darkened hours
made up of a lifetime of fear

woe is me

I don't want to do what's right
I want to stay up all night
think too much by candlelight
oh, woe is me
I just want to do what's wrong
play the blues an sing along
I'm too damn weak to be strong
oh, woe is me

          woe is me
          can't you see
          it's the only way
          I know how to be
          you may disagree
          you may not be pleased
          but I'm down on my knees
          woe is me