a turkey's life

(to the tune of "9 to 5" by Dolly Parton}

it's a turkey's life
and no way to spend Thanksgiving
if your skin is dry
well, then there's no forgiving
first they stuff you up
with bread to drive you crazy
but worst of all
is when they smother you with gravy

it's a turkey's life
I should have been a pigeon
when it's time to die
is when I get religion
they just cut you up
and eat until they wobble
and all you hear from them is
google gobble

a turkey's life...

yesterday's child

one night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

all of my worries
flew into the sky
and exploded into
the fourth of July
with fireworks floating
like dragonflies
and the rest of my life 
was ahead

          if I could start over
          I'd start over again
          with a head full of questions
          with time as my friend

I've always wondered
what happens if
your hope is outnumbered
by whatever you're with
I stood unencumbered
and chose not to resist
and the rest of my life
was ahead

one night I dreamed 
I was yesterday's child
in a field of green
on the outskirts of wild
I'd committed no sin
I wasn't on trial
and the rest of my life 
was ahead
the rest of my life
was ahead

keep the pencil moving

keep the pencil moving
never let it stop
you're bound to be improving
if you give it all you've got

step on the brakes (rewrite one)

well, hi there life
what's in store for me today
is it finally time
are things going my way
here I am
long time waiting for you
I'm in a jam
I don't have a clue

         but life
         I'm hoping you're on my side
         I mean, I
         I'm ready to take that ride
         I got what it takes
         but please sometimes
         step on the brakes

yeah, hey there life
I hope you take it easy on me
I know I lied
every time I claimed to be free
now I'm here
long time waiting for you
I could disappear
but I don't want to

         but life
         I'm hoping you're on my side
         I mean, I
         I'm ready to take that ride
         I got what it takes
         but please sometimes
         step on the brakes

         I got what it takes

         but please sometimes

         step on the brakes

step on the brakes

well, hi there life
what do you have in store for me today
is it finally time
for having things go my way
here I am
long time waiting for you
I'm in a jam
I don't have a clue

         but life
         I'm hoping you're on my side
         I mean, I
         I'm ready to take that ride
         out on dead man's curve
         watch out, man, just don't swerve
         I got what it takes
         but please step on the brakes

yeah, hey there life
I hope you take it easy on me
I know I lied
every time I claimed to be free
now I'm here
long time waiting for you
I could disappear
but I don't want to

         but life
         I'm hoping you're on my side
         I mean, I
         I'm ready to take that ride
         out on dead man's curve
         watch out, man, just don't swerve
         I got what it takes
         but please step on the brakes

crying uncle (rewrite two)

I haven't cried once today
this may be a world record
for a man whose life is troubled by 
a history that's checkered
by mistakes and miscalculations
an endless need to change the station
watch your step, man, goodness gracious
this ain't no push or shove

I haven't been upset today
that's one day in a row, now
but there's one sad thought
I still got
the rest of the day to go, now
give me morphine
give me liquor
anything to numb me quicker
what makes you well
just makes you sicker
it's no substitute for love
let me up, I've had enough
I'm crying uncle
I'm crying uncle

I haven't judged myself today
but I'm setting up the trial
I ain't no fool
I'm discarding rules
and living in denial
every time I give up hoping
I still keep my eyes wide open
it's my peculiar way of coping
I'm packing up my stuff
let me up, I've had enough
I'm crying uncle
I'm crying uncle

crying uncle (rewrite one)

I haven't cried once today
this may be a world record
for a man whose life is troubled by 
a history that's checkered
by mistakes and miscalculations
an endless need to change the station
watch your step, man, goodness gracious
this ain't no push or shove

I haven't been upset today
that's one day in a row, now
there's one sad thought
I still got
the rest of the day to go, now
give me morphine
give me liquor
anything to numb me quicker
what makes you well
just makes you sicker
it's no substitute for love
let me up, I've had enough
I'm crying uncle

I haven't judged myself today
but I'm setting up the trial
I ain't no fool
I'm making rules
and living in denial
don't make me laugh
don't make me cry
don't tell me your excuses why
I ain't looking for no alibi
I'm packing up my stuff
let me up, I've had enough
I'm crying uncle
I'm crying uncle
I'm crying uncle