bones

if anything can go wrong
you will go wrong
I know it
I can feel it in my bones

Hope for the future

Man, this is so hard. I don't feel like doing a fuckin' thing lately. I don't want to practice and I don't want to write and I don't want to meditate and I don't want to cook. I don't want to do anything that I'm supposed to do. But I do it any way because there's nothing else to do (laughs). I felt bad yesterday until I played myself out of my bad mood.

Do you have any idea why you feel this way, farmboy?

Well, I'm bored. This lockdown -- or whatever you want to call it -- has brought up all sorts of shit for me, but nothing serious. I'm mainly bored with doing the same things every single day, seven days a week. And it's up to me to change it. But I'm afraid to let any of it go.

You know, I walk in my apartment every night after midnight. And it's okay, and I get steps in, and it's a workout and everything, but I fuckin' dread it more each day. I've thought that I could change it to where I'm doing it during the day, but I'm afraid to change.,

It may not hurt to try. You can always go back to walking at night if it doesn't work out.

I might try it. We'll see how that goes.

This ain't a big deal, you know? I just don't want to ignore the goals that I had during the times that we weren't in a pandemic. Hopefully I won't get sick and die from this shit and hopefully there will be life after this. It may not go back to normal but life will continue.

That's true, farmboy. Every song that you play is, in a sense, a sign of hope that the world will be continuing.

Yeah. Thanks. I need to remember that. Same with walking and exercising and writing. It's all in the name of hope for the future. I need to continue doing those things.

This is going to sound like a cliche, but take one step at a time. One song at a time, one piece of writing at a time.

That's what I'm doing. I'm trying to not burn myself out. I'm betting that the future is coming and I'm saving up for it with my actions. It's not easy, but nothing ever is. I guess I'll keep on going.

there is nothing to do today

there is nothing to do today
so I'm gonna waste the day away
if I was a kid, I'd jump and play
but that's not me right now
no, today I'm going to stay inside
climb in bed, in there I'll hide
it may harm my foolish pride
but I really don't know how

there is nothing to do anymore
it's not like it was before
with music and laughter and fun galore
those days are at an end
all that's left from here on out
is everything I'm all about
it's nothing I can't do without
I wish time was my friend

          there is nothing to do today
          nothing I can find
          I know that if I had my way
          I'd own some peace of mind

looking for inspiration

I'm looking for inspiration
do you have any to spare?
I've searched my entire imagination
but I don't see nothing in there
where it has gone is a mystery
I've examined all my life's history
but instead all I find is this misery
I seem to have nothing to say

for Parks and Recreation

all my friends have come over
at least on my TV
because our lives have turned to shit
they've come to rescue me
to make me laugh
to make me cry
like everyone in this nation
today I thank the Lord above
for Parks and Recreation

weather report

it's up and at 'em
and maybe I'll go walk outside
oh wait...it's raining

when work is over

when work is over
and the long, hard day is through
you can take a nice long breath
and return to being you
no one can report you
for just being yourself
when you've spent the whole damn day
being someone else

when work is over
you don't think of your boss
instead you go out drinking
no matter what the cost
and after a little while
thoughts of working disappear
it's amazing what can happen
when you drink too many beers