park

take a walk outside

to the park

people playing with balls

and dogs and children

me and my friend are carrying guitars

to play outdoors in the sun

this is what normal people do

in those pictures I see

in advertisements

having fun

being free

this is the weekend

and I am among these people

in a baseball cap and jeans

with a part of me that wonders:

can I be part of you?

can I belong?

the land of mediocre

I've got so much behind me

I try to stay ahead

but somewhere in the middle

is where I go instead

I'm trying to move forward

but I keep on falling down

to the land of mediocre

that's where I'm bound

now it's my turn (rewrite one)

the weeds grow tall

by that damned old barn

it's been here

fifty years or more

but still it stands

by what used to be a farm

but I still see the life

that was there before

          before my hair turned to silver

          before my soul began to yearn

          I know everything grows older

          now it's my turn

the roof is all tattered

walls have fallen down

there used to be horses

a long time ago

a handful of memories

are still hanging around

but it's the same old song

not one you would know

          back when living meant adventure

          back when I was meant to learn

          I know everything grows older

          now it's my turn

I am like that barn

cracked and withering away

for how long, I don't know

we're both up there in age

the building will crumble

and for me it's the same

for I, one day, too

will be going away

          away where I will live in sweet peace

          away where fire will not burn

          I know everything grows older

          now it's my turn

making plans

I am finished with waiting

for you to notice me

I am casting my eyes adrift

as far as I can see

I am leaving you behind

and all your history

I am making plans

now it's my turn

the weeds grow tall

by that damned old barn

it's been here

fifty years or more

but still it stands

by what used to be a farm

but I still see the life

that was there before

          before my hair turned to silver

          before my soul began to yearn

          I know everything grows older

          now it's my turn

that old barn's still there

though parts have fallen down

there used to be horses

a long time ago

a handful of memories

are still hanging around

but it's the same old song

not one you would know

          back when love meant a family

          back when I was meant to learn

          I know everything grows older

          now it's my turn

the weeds grow tall

but the barn still remains

for how long, I don't know

it's up there in age

and I am old, too

and for me it's the same

and I, one day, too

will be going away

          away where I will live in sweet peace

          away where the sun will not burn

          I know everything grows older

          now it's my turn

we drove in silence

we drove in silence

through the fields

we drove so fast

we couldn't see what grew where

there was a farmhouse, a barn

and some children

looks like someone had a life

going there

and I was thinking

I wished I lived here

I would do

what a normal person does

my life is

a song of sorrow

every answer

is "just because"

we drove in silence

me and my wife

we drove as fast

as people our age can drive

home was our destination

speeding north

on interstate 5

and I was thinking

if life were different

if I was new

maybe she would love me

like she used to do

maybe we'd be happy

like we were before

when every answer

was forevermore

we drove in silence

with the radio off

seems it always played

the same old song

one about freedom 

and glory and love

we just couldn't sing along

and I was thinking

there was someone inside me

and this news was told

that I could drive carelessly

off of this road

and over the cliffs

to the valley below

but still I drive on

in a minute, we're gone

and safely at home

away from

the other lives I have known

sometimes I'm a child

sometimes I'm a child

I can never tell when it's about to happen

sometimes it's when

I lie in bed

on a cold, lonely morning

or when I'm afraid

of other people

and what they can do

sometimes I'm a child

everything is clothed in fear

the world is a scary place

but that doesn't matter

because I am an adult

and I cannot give in

to these feelings of vulnerability

I cannot acknowledge weakness

I must be confident at all times

because if I'm not now

the monsters will come in

and destroy me