forgetting haiku

I am forgetting

all the bad times I have had

I am starting now

me instead of you

I wake up every morning

and look at the trophies I have won

for being the best actor

in a low-rated also-ran sit-com

I may not have an Emmy

so the Golden Globe will have to do

when it comes down to it,

I'd rather be me instead of you

every day in Hollywood

it's always been the same damn song

everybody's telling me

stardom is the one place I belong

it's hard to be so talented

in a world that eats you up before it chews

when it comes down to brass tacks,

I'd rather be me instead of you

you live in a city

where nobody knows your name

every day's like the one before

and you're the only person to blame

this city's going to eat you up

and spit you out before it's through

I look at you in pity

I'd rather be me instead of you

I am still alive

I am still alive

my life isn't over

I still have time

to speak my mind

and to leave

my past behind

my best has yet

to arrive

I am still alive

truth be told

 

truth be told, I've always loved you

mandolin

when I hear the mandolin

it takes me back

to when I was a young man

and I had friends

and I felt free

so much joy and sorrow

contained in eight strings

ringing like glass bottles

in the early evening light

shining like fireflies

my nephew plays mandolin

he is young

but he's already known

happiness and pain

the mandolin is a good choice for him

maybe I will play the mandolin

someday

I have one

waiting for me

weather report

the sky is gray and darker

and covered with silver clouds

sunshine and brighter days

are somehow not allowed

it's kinda sort of raining

the temperature is cool

so why am I out walking?

I feel like a fool

I am not one with nature

when weather turns bad

I long to be indoors

where I am warm and glad

but duty calls and I obey

one foot in front of the other

walking on a sidewalk path

hoodie as my cover

I am on my way back home

where it is safe and dry

there is nothing quite like this

when I am warm inside

a cup of coffee, a slice of toast

my reward has come at last

the best time of day is now

when my walk has passed

I was thinking of Montana

I was thinking of Montana

I was remembering old days

before I had to change

my rough and rowdy ways

back when I was younger

when I used to have no fear

now life is just a burden

I can't wait to get on out of here

I was thinking of miss Susie

standing in her peasant skirt

natural as the autumn breeze

a memory that hurt

I can't help but remember

the way things used to be

before alcohol and cocaine

got the better of me

I was thinking about freedom

I was checking off the list

after everything, I've learned

freedom doesn't exist

I stay locked inside my memories

in a cell that you can't see

teased by non-existent tomorrows

and my fucked-up history