when the sun rises

when the sun rises

I'm still in bed

I can't get up

so I stay here instead

and curse the day

and remember last night

when everything

was working out right

I had hours to rest

perchance to dream

I know exactly

what exhaustion means

and I'm exhausted 

every day

which is why I cheer

when daylight goes away

put me in my bed

sing me to sleep

tell me a story

my rest will be deep

and I will dream

in sleep I'll pretend

until I wake up

and do it all over again

I wish I had your money

I wish I had your money

the things I would do

I'd buy all the diamond rings

and mail them off to you

and maybe that would prove my love

and maybe it won't

say the words you want to say

every word but don't

bad mood

I'm ignoring the sunshine

I'm not looking at the great outdoors

no bird watching for me

I've seen it all before

butterflies and caterpillars

frogs and dogs and cats

it takes more than mother nature

to make me look at that

          I'm in a bad mood

          my minds under assault

          I'm in a bad mood

          and I know it's all my fault

          I don't mean to be impatient

          unlikable and rude

          I'm in a bad mood

job interview

I got an early 

start today

cup of coffee 

then on my way

out the door

there is more

that will happen

park the car

through the gate

walk faster

don't be late

you'll be fine

with shoes shined

and toes a-tappin'

          job interview

          don't be stressed

          life will put you

          to the test

          ain't no time

          to be depressed

          it's true

          you're on a job interview

other shoe

I am waiting

for the other shoe to drop

I know it's time

and I can't make it stop

something must go wrong

I'm making out a list

there's got to be a fuck-up

'cause that's the way it always is

I am ready

I have my strategies in hand

I know the drill

but it's more than I can stand

something must go wrong

that's the way it is, I know

the only reason I know this

is that my history tells me so

so I am waiting

for the storm to pass through

until then

I've done all that I can do

something must go wrong

fear is like a second cousin

something must go wrong

what happens if it doesn't?

so much for praying

Jesus can you hear me

Jesus do you care

I look for you always

but I don't see you anywhere

Jesus can you help me

Jesus are you there

why don't you hear me

Jesus I am scared

I don't want to give up hope

I don't want to disbelieve

but Jesus I need you now

now is my time of need

          times like these I find myself

          with my faith decaying

          I don't want to tell myself

          so much for praying

Jesus are you listening

Jesus where are you now

I want so bad to believe

but I don't know how

Jesus where are you now

Jesus I feel alone

please don't desert me

I can't make it on my own

I need to have you in my life

I'm desperate as you can see

nothing is working anymore

please don't ignore me

          times like these I find myself

          without words worth saying

          I don't want to tell myself

          so much for praying

where we had begun (rewrite 2)

my feet stand firmly

on this cold hard ground

it feels so strange

not having you around

the days seemed endless

when we were young

I wish we could go back 

to where we had begun

I see your family

in the front row

times like these

they always go so slow

I say my goodbye

didn't we have fun

I wish we could go back 

to where we had begun

I remember years ago

when we were just kids

I look back

on all the mischief that we did

I always thought we'd both be here

like laughter on our tongues

I wish we could go back 

to where we had begun

I hang my head in sorrow

I think of way back then

I listen to the priest

and I whisper amen

a handful of dirt

and my day will be done

I wish we could go back 

to where we had begun