throatful

it is early for me

one in the afternoon

but I am awake

I've outlasted the moon

the new day is here

should I be hopeful?

to say that I am

is more than a throatful

but I am awake

and my new day's beginning

so far I'm not losing

so I must be winning

they came to stay

I haven't thought of you in years

I hope you're still alive

I hope you dried your endless tears

and there's peace inside your eyes

I remember you as an ageless child

with fear leading the way

you withdrew when the worst came true

and the blues, they came to stay

I slept too late

I slept too late

I nearly missed out on

the whole damn day

what can I say?

I'm a lazy bum

I barely move

my dreams are deep

whenever I sleep

that's what I've become

I do not wake

until I take

massive cups of coffee

in my blood

it's late afternoon

and I am out of tune

pour me some coffee 

in my mug

wheels keep turning

I had so much hope

I could have packaged it 

and sold it

but now it's the same old shit

trouble pounding on my door

I had so much faith

I had my dreams

and I believed them

by day I would try to conceive them

but now there must be something more

          now I am sad and lonely

          life would be good, if only

          things would go my way

          what can I say?

          the wheels keep turning

          and leaving me behind

                                          

if I could walk

if I could walk without

the use of a cane or a walker

I don't know

if I would walk more than I do

it's not so bad

really

I can still get around

I could go see people

if I had people to see

I wish I could tell you

that I would climb the highest mountain

that I would walk to New Hampshire

that I would dance a rhumba

but I wouldn't

I would still walk, however,

and I would be glad

because it really could be a lot worse

so today I am thankful

for my legs and feet

and for the people

who built the sidewalk

no damn reason

there is no damn reason

my life turned out

the way it did

I have had bad luck

ever since those days

when I was just a kid

trouble overwhelms me

it always has

I need something good

and all that jazz

there must be something positive

what more can I say?

there is no good reason

that life turned out this way

looking out for number one

I feel like my feelings

are under attack

leave me your number

and I'll call you right back

emergencies 

are what I do best

give me your worries

and forget the rest

          everybody says

          I don't belong here

          but they're all wrong

          I'm feeling strong here

          I will do

          what needs to be done

          I'm looking out

          for number one

where I am going

is not up to me

there are so many places

for me to see

so many homes

for me to haunt

it may not ne good

but that's what I want

          everybody says

          it's just no good

          hanging around

          this neighnorhood

          staying up till

          the morning sun

          I'm looking out

          for number one