Nothing but blue sky

Fuck, man, I need to find some way to get this fuckin' static outta my fuckin' head.

You could start with not swearing so much, farmboy.

I'll ignore that fuckin' remark.

(quietly) I thought you would...

What was that?

Oh, nothing, nothing...

So was today a good day?

Went to my brother's house and hung out. Some friends were there, which was cool. The weather was so fuckin' -- sorry, man -- beautiful. Like, 85 degrees and nothing but blue sky. And with the sun out so long...well, I just sat outside and visited and ate and played my brother's guitar and, well, you know how it feels when you get those perfect days. One thing is that here, in the Pacific Northwest, we don't take those days for granted. Mainly 'cause there's so much shitty weather, you know?

So it's been a good day. How was yours?

You know, it was a good day. I went outside for a good, long while and just saw family and a couple of friends.

Wow! Just like my day, really.

They were a lot alike. I didn't notice that, but I can see it now.

Yeah, man. That's a pretty handy trick.

Fast on your feet

How did the performance go, farmboy?

Went well, got a real good response. The writers-in-the-round was challenging, in a good way. I love doing these in-the-round gigs, you know. They are so fuckin' cool.

So I ended up sitting by a friend of mine who is a dynamic blues singer and guitarist and songwriter, so that meant that I had to do some thinking 'cause I was following her. And that's challenging and that's good for me. You gotta think fast on your feet, and I like that, I like that improv element of it.

And then me and her -- Anne, that's my friend's name -- we played off each other. It's funny, you know; I met her at the Kerrville Folk Festival in the hill country in Texas in 19 fuckin' 87. Then I move here in 2006 and discovered she lived here and was singing and teaching and all kinds of stuff. She's fuckin' amazing.

Sounds like a good night.

Man, it was so good to see my music friends and play and be appreciated. I need to do a lot more of that kind of stuff.

You'll get your chance in just a couple of weeks, farmboy.

Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. I hope I'll have a better handle on the money and job situation by then. Fuck, I hate to go back to...I guess it's more than poverty. It's how everything is so fuckin' uncertain. And feeling helpless and feeling that there's nothing I can do. I hate not having insurance. You know, I have type 2 diabetes, right?

I didn't know that. No wonder health insurance is important to you.

This fuckin' country, man, this fuckin' health care we have here. Or lack of health care. But that's a whole other topic and it's late.

Talk with me this weekend, farmboy?

You betcha, man.

Real life; i.e., music

So I'm taking tomorrow off because, well, I can. I'm taking all the time I can, man. Plus, I'm performing tomorrow night, so I can plan what I'm gonna do. It's a writers-in-the-round down at the coffeehouse, so I'm really looking forward to it. I love playing those things.

Sounds good. I'm glad you're taking a day off, farmboy.

Oh, man, I'm happy about it. And there ain't been much lately that makes me happy.

You know, it's like yesterday. I couldn't fuckin' stop thinking about the situation at work. Fuck, man, I got to leave it alone. I need to fuckin' move on, I do, because every minute I give to that shit takes away from real life; i.e., music.

i.e.?

I like speaking in print terms. I don't know why.

So how can you stop thinking about work?

I don't know. Play guitar. Maybe try to write a song.

I do have a bottle of Irish whiskey. I could drink some of that. Maybe get a little more relaxed. Don't worry, I'm not gonna get sloppy drunk. I don't know, really, if I can physically handle that.

You don't like the taste of alcohol. Remember?

Yeah, that's another thing. (sarcastically) Thanks for reminding me, pal.

Anytime.

That's what I'm afraid of.

You still have your sense of humor, farmboy. That's something that I'm glad to see.

Fuck, man, I don't know any other way. Ain't that how everybody gets through?

Playing guitar is a wonderful thing

So I'm kinda hating work and I'm sick and fuckin' tired of how quickly the time goes when I'm off work. The night passes so quickly. And then I have to wake up and go to my fuckin' job.

Okay, I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Do you feel any better, farmboy?

Maybe a little bit. But mostly I fuckin' hate thinking and talking about work when it's my time.

I know you do.

Fuckin' hate it,, man. But let's change the subject.

All right. What do you want to talk about?

Actually, I'm tired and I'm going to go to bed. But I didn't want to leave on a bad note, you know? So...let me think...what can we talk about?

Music?

Yeah!

I've played a bunch today. So at least I accomplished that. Which is something I'm really glad about. The more I play the more comfortable I get and the more natural it becomes. Playing guitar is a wonderful thing.

You're good at music, farmboy.

Fuck, I'd go crazy if I didn't play guitar. I am blessed, man.

I've found it really helps to have some kind of creative outlet in life.

Oh, man, that's so true. You got that right, man.

you can never trust a drug addict

you can never trust a drug addict

I tell you, man, it's true

I don't know what I was thinking

when I started trusting you

I was looking at survival

I was thinking of myself

and the very last thing on my mind

was that you were that someone else

who could save me

from the sinkhole

of my life

I did not have a name for you

but you looked just like a savior

sent down to earth to rescue me

from my own misbehavior

to be continued...maybe...

Obedience training

So it's a three-day-weekend and I ain't done nothing except smoke weed, play guitar, and surf the fuckin' internet, man.

Give me a break, farmboy. I know you've done other things. Have you exercised?

Uh, yeah. I exercised, yes.

Read anything?

Um, yeah. I been reading...I guess they're called graphic novels, 'cept the last one was a memoir. A graphic memoir, I guess you'd call it. It's called Stitches by a guy named David Brooks. It was pretty fuckin' intense, man. His parents, fuck...let's just say that his father gave him cancer, literally, and his mother was just this bitch that never, ever loved her son.

You know, you seem to really like sad stories, farmboy.

Well, you know, it's got to have an element of sadness for me, or some kind of conflict. It's like how they taught students about writing and reading fiction when I was in high school -- you need conflict to make a good story. And I think the same goes for songs, too. At least the kind of songs that I want to write.

I can tell that from the songs you write. A lot of your characters have problems or situations that stem from conflict.

Yeah, thanks. It's a good thing that I listened sometimes in those English composition classes, you know. Even though that was college. We didn't write much in high school. School was more like obedience training back then.

Do you think it's changed?

Well, I work in special ed, but really, when it comes down to it, yeah, the public school system is more interested in training lots of little worker ants to make more profits for the learning class. Not necessarily the teaching staff, but I'm sure that the administrative staff...you know what?

No, farmboy, what?

This is getting too fuckin' depressing for me, and it's cutting too fuckin' close to home. I got one more day left on this weekend after today, and I don't want to spend it talking about work or education. Fuck that.

I understand.

It's music, you know. That's what matters now.

I mean, I gotta find ways to survive, especially now that that my way of making a living is in jeopardy. You gotta eat, you gotta pay rent. That's just the way it is, and, hey, I like having a place to live, I like having food in the cupboard, you know?

I know.

But in those moments when it's my time, I want to think about music...or creativity or God or love or sex or the people I care for.

And I can't say I blame you, farmboy.

Thanks, man. I'm glad you understand this stuff. A lot of people don't.

Getting harder everyday

Man, I don't know what been going on. I've been trying to get to you for the last two days, but this fuckin' world keeps conspiring against me.

It's okay, farmboy. I know everything is pretty rough right now.

And getting harder everyday, man, I fuckin' tell you...

You sound stressed, farmboy. You sound angry.

I've got a fuckin' ton of emotions right now, man, it's hard, let me tell you. But it's gonna be a three day weekend, so that's good.

All the same though, I wish I had taken today off work. But I'm here...

You're at work?

Yeah. So I gotta go...

Talk to you soon?

You got it, man.