I baked a chicken

Here it is, New Year's Eve, man. You going anywhere?

No, farmboy. I'm just going to stay home and read. How about yourself? Are you going out to a party or music or anything?

No. I thought about it. But I'm so fuckin' boring, man. I get some Irish whiskey if I feel like drinking, and I have some weed. I baked a chicken. (laughs)

Sounds good to me. How about resolutions?

Um...I really want to take better care of myself, physically. And to make the CD. I need to find a way to do better financially, so I'd like to get business-wise as far as booking goes. I guess self-responsibility would be the foundation of my resolutions.

It's funny. 2011 has been a fucked year for me, in many ways...

You sure went through enough stress.

Fuckin' A, man, it's no surprise that I'm ending the year with my ulcer condition causing me problems. Actually, it;s my pre-ulcer trying to become a fuckin' full-grown adult ulcer. I have to be accurate in all things, you know.

But 2011 was a good year for me creatively, and I'm ending it with the working on the CD, which has been great. I am hoping for 2012 to be a lot better, though.

I hope it is, farmboy.

Yeah, man, for you and me both.

I could win awards

I think way too much

my dad said "you dwell on things"

he may just be right

I hate to worry

but it is what I'm best at

I could win awards

I could give speeches

instead I'm choosing to dwell

on dwelling itself

it's very meta

I'm not sure you'll understand

plus it don't matter

it don't matter

Second nature

Hey, man, how's it going?

Good. And you?

I'm good. Man, I tell you what, this CD making is a lot of hard fuckin' work. I just wasn't in much of a mood to practice and...

Wait, farmboy. Before you go on, I need to know if you did practice.

Um, yeah, I practiced. But I just really didn't feel...

Congratulations, farmboy. You did something you didn't want to do because you knew that there would be benefits down the road. You're a lot better at self-discipline than you think.

Yeah, if it's something I care about. Like making a CD.

It's funny, you know. It's kinda like second nature for me to work hard when I want something badly enough. Or...that sounds weird, man, let me rephrase that. I don't know how not to work hard when it's making a CD. I would love to apply that to other things in my life, you know, getting in good physical shape, maybe learning Spanish, that kind of thing. But I don't know how to do that. Yet, that is. I fully intend to take advantage of that intensity.

I'm feeling the songs getting stronger, performance-wise, and that's because of the almost-daily rehearsing.

That's important.

You bet it is. I gotta be confident, I gotta be smart when making this album.

This is gonna take a lot of work, but, fuck it, man, I'm up for it.

That's the attitude, farmboy.

I'm just gonna relax and watch myself work my ass off, man.

Tradition of the Christmas nap

Well, I finally got the new computer. More debt to pay off, but I really do need to have a computer, especially with the new CD happening. I've been practicing, man. Every single fuckin' day. Well, except for when Ii was at my brother's house for Christmas.

So it sounded like Christmas was pretty good.

Yeah, it was. I didn't get into any drama or get sucked into the whole present-giving-and-receiving thing. And the presents I got were great, you know, a couple of good books, a CD. It was good to spend time with my brother and his wife and daughter. And -- I've probably told you this -- but I love my self-imposed tradition of the Christmas nap.

Your Christmas was good, as I recall. Let's see...it was low key, right?

Right, farmboy. Just like yours.

We're such exciting people, I tell you.

Merry Christmas, man!

Hey farmboy, where you been?

Oh, man, putting out those winter break fires. My fuckin' computer finally died, after years of service, so I've had to figure that out.

What did you do?

I applied for and received a credit card from the Apple folks, and I changed a brand-new computer.

Apple, huh?

Yeah, because it has Garage Band built in. That's a really important feature. It costs plenty to get it installed in a PC, as I remember.

Also, I had to get some minor dental work done. I bit on a piece of Christmas toffee and a crown came off of one of my teeth. It was pretty trouble free, except that it's gonna cost money. But, hey, it was pretty minor.

So...hey! Merry Christmas, man! How's your day been?

Very low key, farmboy, just the way I like Christmas.

Yeah, me too. I just got up from my annual Christmas nap. It's like the high point of the day for me. I'm at my brother's right now. I stayed last night and I'm gonna stay tonight, too. Christmas dinner should be in a couple hours. It's been a good Christmas. I got a couple great books and a Louis Armstrong CD. I love Louis Armstrong. He plays Fats Waller tunes on this CD. Pretty cool, eh?

Two greats, that's for sure.

Just like us, man. Merry Christmas!

A good deal of progress

Well, today was the first all-album rehearsal and it went very well, I gotta tell you. I just kept adding songs.

Also, I talked to the guy at the studio and I'll most likely be doing some demo recording the week after Christmas.

And I've finally come up with a tentative order of songs. So there's been a good deal of progress since winter break started, even though I guess today is really the first day of it. The weekend would have happened anyway. This is the first workday of the break.

So it sounds like you've been busy, farmboy.

I have, kinda. I've had plenty of time just doing whatever I fuckin' please. You know, staying in bed and listening to podcasts and stuff. It's just started, but it's been good.

What's next in your plans?

I gotta keep practicing, I gotta type up lyric sheets for the recording. The recording's gonna take up a lot of my attention, which is just fine with me. I need to be practiced, I need to know these songs as well as I can. That's what this break is gonna be about.

Which is a good thing.

It's a very good thing, man. It's what pulls me through this here life.

I trust compassion

I trust compassion

and believe it is alive

in tiny actions

I've seen the helpless

and I have been helpless, too

pushing against grief

I see a child

who sees me hurt my finger

and she bows her head

and silently she

lightly kisses where it hurts

and she is correct

it hurts no longer

she helps, as if by magic,

puts an end to pain

with a single act

of the simplest kindness

which she has been taught