Constantness

So, an update: I got some pain pills and I'm staying home from work tomorrow to rest my leg. It's been kinda okay until after noon and then it gets real sore and it's just this constant pain thing. I work with a nurse who told me that I should probably be off my feet for a little while and that it'll heal faster if I'm not on my feet so much.

You do have an active job, farmboy. I think that nurse is probably right. Not to mention...you get an unplanned three-day weekend.

Yeah, that's pretty fuckin' cool, man. But not as cool as having my ankle better again. I hate this pain thing, it drives me fuckin' off the wall, you know? It's not so much the severity of the pain as the constantness of it. Is that a word?

I don't know. We could look it up, I suppose.

Nah. It's not important enough to me. You know what I mean.

In the meantime

Man, I'm having some physical pain right now. I tripped and fell this weekend and broke the skin and it got infected. Pisses me off. So I went to the doctor and he put me on antibiotics. Which will help, I'm sure but it takes time. And in the meantime my fuckin' leg hurts, and like the fuckin' idiot that I am, I told the doctor that no, I don't need no pain medication.

Can you call your doctor for some pain meds, farmboy?

Yeah...tomorrow.

That's what I meant. I know your doctor's office is probably closed.

Yeah, but, you know...what do I do about now?

Try not to think about it, I guess.

But I can't help thinking about it! Remember, I'm like this obsessive type of guy, you know. I need to self-medicate, but I don't have anything to self-medicate with.

So you'll just have to deal with it, farmboy. 

I was afraid that you'd say that.

Get your mind off of it. You're just thinking about it too much. Just try different things. You'll find something that will work, farmboy.

What can I think about? I don't know what to think about, man.

Just explore. You can do that. You do it all the time. Read a book, go online. Just don't lie around thinking about your current situation.

Okay. But if it doesn't work it's all your fault.

photograph

a picture of you
takes me back when I had faith
it would all turn out

Or something like that

So I played my newest song in front of people this weekend and both times it was very well received.

This song...

"You Won't Remember Me."

...That's a good song, farmboy. 

You're a good songwriter. You really need to start giving yourself credit, farmboy.

All I can say is that it feels fuckin' great when you're successful in communicating what you want to communicate. Or something like that. 

You're stoned, aren't you?

Yep. And it's fun, too. You should try it, man.

I have. And I will. I have nothing against it.

Maybe we could get high together one of these days.

We'll see, farmboy.

(uncomfortable silence)

I wouldn't be adverse to that. Could be fun, farmboy.

Yeah, it could. One of these days, man.

take hold of me

today
I want 
imagination
to take hold of me
so hard I can't deny it
and turn me into
a believer
again

geography

geography makes me sad
I think of places I will never go
all the people that I'll never know
all the mistakes I've made
maps make me feel bad
with all those territories
telling someone else's story

can someone tell mine?

full of static

my head is full of static tonight
interfering with the dialogue I want to hear
the one that is actually me
not some evil twin
who puts his hands around my neck
and says
"everything you believe is wrong"
as he grips my neck
tighter and tighter