I feel a good deal better

Feeling any better than yesterday, farmboy? I know you were feeling low.

Well, yes, in fact, I feel a good deal better because I heard back from one of the places that I have a grant for, performing-wise. So I'm getting more gigs and it looks like it will make the summer a lot easier. It's not all the money I need, but it's gonna allow me to pay rent and bills in September, and that's a great thing.

Good for you, farmboy. I can hear the relief in your voice.

Yeah, I get nervous about money and I start feeling like a fuckin' failure, man. It fuckin' sucks. But now I don't have to think about that, do I?

No you don't. You can spend your time and energy on other things, more important things. 

Yeah. Right now I'm thinking about this chicken soup I've got on the stove that I just made. I'm not feeling 100% physically and I think that'll help. 

And it's healthy, too.

Yeah. I could use something healthy about right now.

I ain't scared of working

Hey, can I ask you a question?

Sure, farmboy. What's up?

Do...do you like me?

Of course I like you. What kind of question is that?

I don't know. I'm just fighting being fragile and feeling stupid like I've made every mistake that it's possible to make.

And why are you feeling like that?

All these stupid problems, all these disappointments. It's the fuckin' money thing again, man. There's gotta be something I can do, you know? I don't know, I must be fuckin' stupid or something...

You're not stupid, farmboy. You're frustrated and worried and dumping shit on yourself isn't going to help you. You need more confidence, you need a better self-image. 

And how, o great interviewer, do I accomplish that?

Well, you'll need a plan. And then you'll have to do a lot of work.

I ain't scared of working, man.

That's good. 

How about the plan part?

I can help you with that, farmboy.

Thanks, man.

A shred of self-respect

I'm depressed, man. Money problems, I'm not going to my family reunion, and I'm almost out of weed with no money to buy any more.

I'm sorry, farmboy. I wish I could help.

I wish you could too, man. The money problems are the worst. I fuckin' hate 'em, you know? 

I know.

Man, I don't know. I'm not desperate yet, and I'm trying to hold on to a shred of self-respect. I keep trying to figure out things.

And you will, farmboy.

I know. It's just the fuckin' journey there that pisses me off.

still in your hometown

wherever you go
you're still in your hometown
wherever you go
you're still in your hometown
sister, what you doing
carrying all that shit around?

static

static fills my head
on a regular basis
by its own design

living its own life
leaving me stranded from truth
standing on the road

right thumb in the air
no road atlas by my side
to guide me onward

proud

take me to the fire
assure me I am not worthless
and I will make you proud

More of a songwriting life

All this stuff, man. It's the same old fuckin' same old, you know? Money problems, that kind of thing, and the usual frustrations. I'm so tired of thinking about me and all my problems.

I wanna be back at songwriting camp.

I bet. Songwriting camp sounds pretty ideal, I must say.

Oh, man, I can hardly believe I was there. But, you know, if I close my eyes and think about it, I'm still there. Which I am extremely grateful for.

I gotta figure out how to make my life into more of a songwriting life. I mean, I already do certain things...

Like what, farmboy?

I write. I write a good deal. I write every day, even though some of the writing isn't songwriting.

It's still writing, farmboy. You're making choices, you're making decisions.

That's true. Just writing in itself is a good thing.

I think I need to be around nature more, and around other songwriters.

You can do that, you know. You're the only one stopping you.

I know, man. That's the hard part.