I dreamed

early this morning 
I dreamed
I met myself
at seventeen
wind in my hair
holes in my jeans
and a sad and troubled mind

That's what I do

The year's almost over, man. This time thing, I don't know…it just seems to be moving faster and faster. I mean, winter break's a little over half way done. By this time next week, I'll be back at my stupid job.

Just don't think about it much, farmboy. Just live for the moment. One day at a time, you know.

I know. It's great to have all this time. I haven't been doing a whole lot. I've been having trouble with my stomach, it just gets sore all the time. I'm taking some meds for it, though. It's just a fuckin' drag, man.

Physical pain is never any fun.

Tell me about it. It fuckin' sucks.

But at least I'm not having to go to work or anything. I've just been sleeping a lot, reading, smoking weed…

Are you high right now, farmboy?

No, believe it or not. I'm trying to cut back a little. It's not good to be stoned all the time. Plus I just can't really afford it.

Have you been playing much guitar?

Not as much as I should, but I have been playing every day. Playing and writing, that's what I do. Every single day.

And that's a good thing?

Oh, yeah, it is. That's my job, that's what I have to do. So I do it. And I'm glad I do, because then I feel like a player and a writer. And that's the goal, right?

luxury of time

give me the luxury of time
I don't need to accomplish 
anything today
whatever happens 
is gonna happen anyway
I don't need some mountain to climb
I need time to think
about nothing at all
except the rain on the roof
as it begins to fall 
maybe I'll find peace of mind
with the luxury of time

quicksand

as I sink deeper and deeper

in the quicksand of my disease

my angels beg for mercy

while my demons 

have their way with me

there is nothing to remember

I have nothing good to say

I just follow the instructions

like a dog

I willfully obey

Favorite recordings of 2013

So you wanna know my favorite recordings of 2013?

Yes. I've been waiting, farmboy.

Okay, here goes:

1. Vampire Weekend -- Modern Vampires in the City

This was my favorite album of the year. I have such good memories of driving around to this during the summer, when life was still hopeful and things hadn't gone bad yet.

2. The National -- Trouble Will Find Me

This is one of those albums that gets better the more you listen to it. I love the textures and the little spots of humor. I also can really relate to the album's title.

3. Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell -- Back When We Were Beautiful

I found the Harris/Crowell album disappointing, but this song is stunning and Emmylou's lead vocal perfectly captures this portrait of an elderly woman.

4. Ry Cooder -- live in Cleveland 1972

This isn't really an album. It's a live solo recording of a radio performance by Ry that I downloaded from the internet. The performance are relaxed and his introductions are fascinating. 

5. Daft Punk w/Pharell -- Get Lucky 

This song is really a throwback, I know, but listen to that guitar!

You know, there's just so much music to be heard, it's just fuckin' impossible to write a list I'm happy with. I mean, I've left off Ry Cooder's new live album. Robbie Fulk's new album, this live one by Alex Chilton where he just plays covers because the electricity went out. Good thing I'm not a critic. 

Anyway, man -- on to next year!

My own selfish education

So I just saw this show on Netflix, this Mike Birbiglia guy. It's called "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend." Man, it was amazing! I want to watch it again, so I can see how the story was constructed. 

Aren't you going to go see him, farmboy?

Next month. I'm really looking forward to it. See, his stuff…it's inspiring, makes me want to work at what I do with songwriting, you know? 

That sounds like a good thing.

Ah, yeah, it's me taking stuff from a talented guy for my own selfish education. I love it when that happens. I like being inspired. I like seeing or hearing or reading something that makes me think "See? There's something else that can be done." I like it when my own self-given boundaries are suddenly moved.

I look forward to hearing these new songs, when they're written.

Oh, man, from your lips to God's ears, you know? I want to hear new songs myself.

time to rest

everything you could do
is what has been done
you put up a good fight
even if the war wasn't won
you made some mistakes
but you tried your best
now it's time to rest
now it's time to rest

broken promises from
those you thought were your friends
you can't hide your stubborn pride
and you never learned to bend
but you listened to your heart
like it sang your last request
now it's time to rest
now it's time to rest