I will sleep, rewrite 2

I will sleep
under the desert stars
with the moon
playing possum in the night
I will sleep
there's no need for alarm
everything will be all right
I will sleep
a peaceful sleep
that lasts the whole night through
and I will dream of you
I will sleep

I will sleep, rewrite 1

I will sleep
under the desert stars
with the moon
playing possum in the night
I will keep
you free and clear from harm
everything will be all right
I will sleep
a peaceful sleep
that lasts the whole night through
and I will dream of you
I will sleep

house in the hills

see over there
that house in the hills
there's money in that neighborhood
you take the 101
to the 405
past the east side
of west hollywood
it's where you live 
and who you know
you know that actor
on that TV show
I forget his name
but he killed himself
jumped off the Santa Monica pier
well, he once lived
in that house in the hills
before the tabloids crucified his career

see all those lights
that's the house on the hill
sometimes it's a miniature vegas
only a few minutes
to whatever you need
from the kodak to the pantages
sometimes it's up
sometimes it's down
it's a hot hot morning
in this company town
you know that actress
the one with the boobs
and the legs 
that go on forever 
you know she cracked up
now her bank account's 
as dry as the 
los angeles river

          to end up like us
          ain't it demeaning
          to look at that house
          through that window you're cleaning
          I always pictured myself
          attending those screenings
          with julia roberts
          or angelina jolie
          hanging on my arm

we'd be riding that limo
to my house on the hill
in the life I should be living
instead of cleaning the glass
in this high-rise hotel
yes I know that I should forgive them
nobody tells losers like us
what to do
when the dreams that you live for
refuse to come true
you know that movie
that won all those awards
the one with the happiest ending?
just remember the stars
in the house on the hill
make their living
by pretending

la la la la...

Digress

I finished my first week back from the fuckin' job. 

Time to relax, eh, farmboy?

I want to. I'm all tense and full of anxiety.

Because of the job?

Because of life. I mean, it's all this fuckin' little shit, you know? Like the bathroom sink is clogged up and I ain't got no money for groceries and my job has started again which means back to unending anger and frustration. I mean, look, in many ways I have a great life. I have this passion for songwriting and music and sound and rhythm and lyrics. I had a job, so I have the means to pay my rent and bills most months. I give my fuckin' share of money so the corporations can make more profits and continue fucking over the working class.

But you digress…

You know, that's a funny word, digress. I mean, it sounds like a female dig, right?

Anyway, so there are a number of pluses in my life. There are any number of places in the world where people are fuckin' starving. Where people live in subhuman conditions. Where people are living under sadistic regimes. 

I am very fortunate. Unfortunately, I'm also very stressed about things that will mostly be forgotten about a week from now. I'll get through it. I'm just worried all the fuckin' time about something. It's always gotta be something. That's why I need to remember the night of the CD release concert.

That memory is always with you, farmboy.

What if I get Alzheimer's?

It'll still be somewhere. Knowing you, it'll be in something having to do with music.

I hope so.

Cajones

Well, man, I'm back at the fuckin' job, man. So now I have money problems and a lousy job.

So, farmboy, what's next on the musical agenda?

I perform a week from Friday at the coffeehouse, which I'm looking forward to. I want to write.. .and I have been writing. I want to work on some projects, like the "holidays" thing I was talking about. I feel creative. I hope I'm not jinxing everything by verbalizing it.

I'm sure that you're not, farmboy.

Anyway, I like this feeling and I need to ride it out, take it as far as it will go.

Glad to hear it.

Yeah, it's great. Creativity, man -- that's the test of who has the most cajones, that's for sure.

notice me

I've been hiding
around the corner
waiting for you
to turn around
I need you
to notice me
I once was lost
but now I'm found

peaceful

I'd like to be peaceful
just once, let me try it
I need something to quiet
down the voices I hear
I know it's all lies
but they all sound so real
I can't help or conceal
them from my inner ear