avalanche

it's a perfect day
the sky is clear
the clouds have drifted away
but there may have been an avalanche 
I'm staying inside

time means nothing to me
I've got more time
than I will ever need
but there may have been an avalanche
I ain't going nowhere

          I don't care
          what the economy's showing
          I can't think
          about the living and the dead
          they're nothing compared
          to the wars that are going
          on inside my head

it's another day
wake up and feel the sun
but for me
it's already ended
and it's only just begun
I know there's hardly a chance
but there may have been an avalanche
all I know is that
I'm staying inside

this tunnel

is there a light at the end of this tunnel
shining bright enough to see
is there a light at the end of this tunnel
and if there is, please let it shine for me

a life to call my own

he said:
I need to find out what I'm made of
when I'm lost and far from my home
I need to conquer the ghosts I'm afraid of
I need a life to call my own
I need a life to call my own

Floating out here on my own

How's everything going, farmboy? Is there any news on the therapist front?

I finally found one, but apparently he doesn't do therapy sessions even though he's on all those fuckin' web pages. Too bad; he sounded like just the person I need. 

Why can't anything be easy? All through these past seven months, everything that could go wrong went wrong.

Okay. I'll make sure your surgeon knows that.

Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating. But it feels like it sometimes. I'm still frustrated about having to find a new therapist. Damn, man, I was making such good progress. I was feeling so fuckin' good about it. Fuck, man.

You'll find one soon, farmboy. Just be a little patient.

Fuck, man, waiting is all I ever seem to do. I need somebody now. I feel like I'm just floating out here on my own. I may drift off at any moment.

I need help. Now.

mental illness land

welcome to mental illness land
the theme park of my mind
you buy your ticket with your pain
and leave all joy behind
welcome to mental illness land
come play a game of war
where every day is exactly the same
as the day before

damn sweet time

the phone never rings
when you want it to ring
it takes its damn sweet time
when you need somebody
you always wind up alone
it happens all the time

sometime today I will be depressed

To the tune of "Buffalo Gals"

sometime today I will be depressed
be depressed
be depressed
sometime today I will be depressed
like I was the day before

so I will lock myself inside
myself inside
myself inside
I will lock myself inside
like I did the day before

and then I'll smoke a lot of weed
a lot of weed
yes indeed!
then I'll smoke a lot of weed
like I did the day before

and then maybe I'll eat bad food
eat bad food
because of my mood
maybe today I'll eat bad food
like I did the day before

and then I'll cry myself to sleep
I'll go to sleep
but I won't sleep deep
maybe I'll cry myself to sleep
like I did the day before

sometime today I will be depressed
be depressed
be depressed
sometime today I will be depressed
like I was the day before