get the fuck out

get the fuck out of my life
leave before I make you leave
I got a gun and I know how to use it
I know how to use it
you better believe
get the fuck away from me
before I do something 
we both retreat
it's a bona  fide miracle of miracles
I haven't shot you dead yet
get the fuck out
goddamn you 
get the fuck out

refill

I've looked in all the usual places
the unusual places, too
I've searched my apartment over
and I don't know what to do
I know they're here somewhere
but where, I don't have a clue
where's my refill
of antidepressants

full of ideas

I am full of ideas
they overrun my brain
so I take a little pill
so I can feel less pain
and if I feel more pain
and is its wont and will
I get the idea
to take another little pill

following me

no matter where I go
no matter what I do
no matter what I say
it's following me
it's there when I sleep
awake the whole day through
not looking at you
it's following me

          and it does its very hardest
          and it does its very best
          bitter is the harvest
          and there's no time for rest

a black cloud above
a black hole below
a black crow cries
it's following me
where I am going
I have no way to know
I try to outrun but
it's following me

          and it does its very hardest
          and it does its very best
          bitter is the harvest
          and there's no time for rest

no matter where I go
no matter what I do
no matter what I say
it's following me

plans

I got some big plans
they take up space in my heard
and refuse to leave

Keeping the wheels greased

I don't know what I'm doing lately, man. I just don't feel like writing. I mean, I still write and shit, I wrote every fuckin' day. But, I don't know, it's not there right now. It's not really a writer's block; I just don't feel like writing.

So why don't you just take a little time off writing for a while, farmboy? I know you're also doing some other things in your life. I know you're practicing a lot more than usual.

Yeah, but I don't think it's too much to ask myself to do a little writing every day. It makes me feel accomplished, but more importantly, it makes it easier to write if you're practiced. It's like playing a musical instrument or physical therapy. It all culminates, you know.

What are your instincts telling you to do?

Oh, my instinct is to continue writing. The trick is, how do I get back to enjoying it again?

Do you have subjects to write about, farmboy? 

There are always subjects to write about, man. But there ain't nothing insisting to be written. I don't know. I know I do need to let it come naturally, I can't force it.

So just relax a little bit. You can always write a poem, a haiku...

I've been doing that a lot, actually. There's a lot of little writing I've been doing to make sure I continue. 

I think that's good, farmboy.  I think any writing you do is good.

Keeping the wheels greased.

That's one way to look at it.

I just gotta keep doing it without putting too much pressure on myself. I just need to relax, I think. Or maybe lower my standards.

beware of the past

all things come to those that wait
is an old cliche I've learned to hate
I never did appreciate
being lied to
'cause I've been waiting all these years
to find some way to stop these tears
in the end, they're only souvenirs
that you leave far behind you

beware of the past
it will tell you lies
it knows all your fears
and you'll disappear
as it cuts you down to size
beware of the past
its phony afterglow
it'll make you weak
till you can't even speak
and there's nowhere left to go
beware of the past