I'm a writing machine

Well, man, I finally wrote a song that I like. It sure took a while.

I'm so glad you're not impatient, farmboy. 

Sarcasm does not become you.

Does this new song have a name?

Yeah. It's called "Someone I Thought I Loved." I'm very happy with the melody and the music. The lyrics, I will have to look over that, but I've worked on it a bit and it's getting there, slowly but surely. It's also fictional, which is fine, but I would like to find whatever ways I can relate to it personally.

You wrote it. I'm sure you relate to it in some way. You know, the subconscious and all that psychological stuff. There's something already in there, I'm sure. 

Anything else brewing in the brain and heart of yours?

Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. I just keep working and I just keep on writing. I'm a writing machine, man, with all these words and thoughts and sentences pouring out of me. It's the only way I know as far as getting stuff to work on. I just write and write and write. Every fuckin' day, man.

And it's always paid off. I know it's frustrating, farmboy, but you've written some very good songs in the past few years.

Now if someone would just listen to them.

That must be frustrating.

Oh, it is, it really is. It's so fucking hard writing in a vacuum, you know? With no feedback or anything. It's sad to say this, but I need some attention. From somebody. I'm not talking about bookers or media or any of that shit. I'm talking about a fuckin' audience. I miss having an audience, I miss somebody listening to my songs. I'm being overdramatic, I know, but those songs are my fuckin' life.

How do you get an audience, farmboy?

Beats me. If I knew, I'd have one.

someone I thought I loved (rewrite 2)

you were never a friend to me
I only see
you in my rear view mirror
now you're an empty memory
just let me be
alone I see much clearer
when I recall your lies
I realize
this time I've had enough
you were just someone I thought I loved
someone I thought I loved

you were never ever really honest
a broken promise
you made quite a few
all the time I kept believing
well, now we're even
I've learned to play it cool
when I think of you
I'm so glad we're through
the going was getting rough
you were just someone I thought I loved
someone I thought I loved

          now I have found the strength inside me
          to find the love that you denied me

you never knew love for me
I only see
all that in hindsight now
sometimes I'm a little slow
but now I know
just what I won't allow
I know now what to do
without you
I've learned my heart is tough
you were just someone I thought I loved
someone I thought I loved

someone I thought I loved (rewrite 1)

you were never a friend to me
I only see
you in my rear view mirror
lost to empty memories
just let me be
alone I see much clearer
when I recall your lies
I realize
this time I've had enough
you were just someone I thought I loved
someone I thought I loved

you were never really ever honest
a broken promise
there were quite a few
all this time I kept believing
well, now we're even
I've learned to play it cool
when I think of you
I'm so glad we're through
the going was getting rough
you were just someone I thought I loved
someone I thought I loved

          you had me fooled
          I followed your rules
          till my heart was hollow
          but I've learned a little bit by now
          you're showing me how
          to face a new tomorrow

you never knew love for me
I only see
all that in hindsight now
sometimes I'm a little slow
but now I know
just what I won't allow
I know now what to do
without you
I'm learning my heart is tough
you were just someone I thought I loved
someone I thought I loved

         

someone I thought I loved

you were never a friend to me
I only see
you in the rear view mirror
lost in empty memories
just leave me be
alone I see much clearer
when I recall your lies
I realize
this time I've had enough
you were just someone I thought I loved
someone I thought I loved

you were never really ever honest
a broken promise
there were quite a few
all this time I kept believing
well, now we're even
I've learned to play it cool
when I think of you
I'm so glad we're through
the going was getting rough
you were just someone I thought I loved
someone I thought I loved

dear doctor tucker

dear doctor tucker
I'm writing you this letter
to tell you how I'm feeling today
I was sorta hoping
I might be somewhat better
but the world isn't treating me that way
my spirit's gone and there's no hope in sight
I should be out on the town on this Saturday night
but here I sit at home
as always, all alone

dear doctor tucker
nobody wants me
to be anything like a friend
the memories of
my old friends still haunt me
my relationships are all at an end
there's nobody I could be talking to
there's no social function that I can do
if I had a soul, I'd be playing the blues
but I'm not much of a human being
I doubt that you'd know what I mean

dear doctor tucker
our time's almost done
fifty minutes can go by so fast
thanks for your help
feels like we've just begun
I don't know if I'm up to the task
but there's no denying
that I'll keep on trying
mental illness is lying
I'll take what you taught
and work out some plot
so I can go on with the story
I'm thinking it's true
it has something to do
with the journey that's laid out before me

I don't want to be broken

I don't want to be broken
I want to be a first place winner
but my brain has spoken
and it says I'm a rank beginner
I try and try
I do my best
but I swear my mind
has been possessed
by unknown sources inside of me
I don't want to be broken
I want to be free

I don't want to be a loser
as part of my Christian name
a beggar or chooser
you know they're one and the same
I try and try
I do my finest
but it's not for you
my princess
your highness
you don't belong in my neighborhood
I don't want to be broken
I want to do good

          all my life
          I have waiting
          to be the person I am
          but everything that's happened
          until now
          I do not understand

I don't want to be broken
I want the pieces to fit in place
from Detroit to Hoboken
I analyze this human race
I try and try
you're discouraging me
and your alibi
is all I see
I don't have to question twice
I don't want to be broken
I just want to be alive

a little faith

he does everything he can
to make headway with his plans
but he doesn't understand
life has its own way with you
stoplights changing on a busy street
he watches out for his own two feet
pressing on and over concrete
what else can he do

          he just needs a little faith
          in everything he does
          you ask him just because
          he needs a little inspiration
          he just needs a little faith
          in everything he'll do
          because he's just like you
          accept no imitation
          he just needs a little faith

he's learned everything he can
about being a man
making his own stand
but it ain't working
no what matter, down is up
and he's had enough
he's acting tough
inside he's hurting

          he just needs a little faith
          in everything he does
          you ask him just because
          he needs a little inspiration
          he just needs a little faith
          in everything he'll do
          because he's just like you
          accept no imitation
          he just needs a little faith