I can't afford being depressed

Well, I'll tell you, it's been hard writing lately. Rewriting, not so much. I finished this one song I've been working on called "Walking Each Other Home." The rewriting of it has been amazingly easy. It just needed time and patience. I really like this song and want to do it justice. It's about the whole quarantine situation that's going on right now. It is, against all odds, a hopeful song.

I think that's what people need right now, farmboy. They need hope and comforting. This is a very scary place we're in.

Yeah, it is. I need to go on the bus to go to the bank and I don't know how wise that is. But tomorrow I'll do that, unless it becomes too stressful. I'm not going to fool around with it if it causes too much stress.

That's wise. There's no use in stressing yourself out if you can help it. How was your video appointment with your therapist?

It was good. Despite the problems that we're facing now, things are going well. And I think that's because we're in a situation which I know is serious. I feel like I can't afford being depressed. Which doesn't mean I don't get depressed. But it's mainly depression out of boredom. And that can be fixed.

I find that it's still hard.

I'm not saying it isn't hard. It is hard. You just have to use your noggin a bit to figure it out.

I'll try that, thanks. You're inspiring me.

I don't have it down, by any means. I'm still bored a huge part of the day. I don't let myself smoke weed until after 6 p.m., and sometimes it seems like it takes forever. Sometimes I find myself sitting at the computer, mindlessly going to the same old websites that I go to, over and over. And that gets old. I've learned at some point to pick up the guitar and start playing. At the end of this situation I should emerge a better guitarist, at least as far as my own songs go.

I heard you practicing earlier, farmboy. You're sounding really good.

Thanks. I've been working at it. It takes so fuckin' long for me to be comfortable with my songs, but it's getting there. I'm pleased, for the most part.

I'm off to finish up the chores I make for myself. You have a good day. And don't get bored, okay?

I am waiting

today I am okay
I don't know about tomorrow
I wish there was a way
to find some time to borrow
so I could find
some peace of mind
before I turn to sorrow
help me if you want to
I am waiting

today I am lonely
there is nobody beside me
I wish there was a way
to have somebody by me
so I can be
who I'm supposed to be
so I can look inside me
help me if you want to
I am waiting

what is your fuckin' problem

what is your fuckin' problem
I've done everything I could
to help you see
the good in me
has been misunderstood
every time you disagree
is just another trap for me
it's all throughout my history
I still do what I should

what is your fuckin' problem
tell me in your own words
don't quote someone
who's number one
I find I'm quite disturbed
all the time you're telling me
that nothing ever comes for free
it's all throughout my history
on that you can concur

brand new heart

I need a brand new heart
because mine is broken
this time I'm leaving
it wide open
to anyone who comes around
to try to make me safe and sound
instead of when I fall apart
I need a brand new heart

I need a brand new heart
it's transplant time
I need some other 
heart than mine
I know what I'm talking about
this old heart of mine's done the twist and shout
let's go to the supermart
I need a brand new heart

          there must be one somewhere
          I know that for sure
          but the one I'm looking for
          must be honest and pure

I need a brand new heart
because mine is busted
it's sad and weak
and can't be trusted
I have no idea how
but I need a new one now
to make a brand new start
I need a brand new heart

boredom

I have nothing in my mind
that is of importance to find
everything is locked inside memories
I've asked "What is this about?"
I've looked for a way out
but there's none that I can see
my yesterdays
have gone away
their gifts my heart to keep
if this is how it's gonna be
I'm going back to sleep

I'm all written out

Well, man, it's finally happened.

And what's that, farmboy?

There's no more for me to write. I'm all written out. I've written about damn near everything there is, or everything I care about. I guess all I can do is make a stiff drink and a toke and relax for the rest of my life. It's been good being a songwriter, but I'm all used up.

I don't believe that's true. You're still living, you're still breathing. You're still having experiences. There's still plenty to write about.

I don't see it. My mind is empty. There is no inspiration to be found. Is this what they call a writer's block?

You're the writer. What do you think?

I once went to a songwriting workshop with John Prine once, years ago. And I asked him about writer's block.

And what did John Prine say?

He said that he didn't believe in writer's block. He also told me later that I had good questions. I got his autograph.

So I guess I don't believe in writer's block either. Either that, or I don't take it as seriously as a lot of people do.

I think that's a good thing, farmboy.

Yeah, I do too. I don't want some damn writer's block pushing me around.

That's the spirit.

I hope so. I like writing. It's what I'm supposed to do. The last thing I need is some false belief like that writer's block shit.

I will be your witness

if you need someone
to help you help yourself
I'll be your man
I'm here if you need me
if you need support
you know I can
I know your history
and I know it can be tough
it's hard to go through this life
when you haven't been loved enough
so I will be your witness
I will be your witness
when life gets rough