one step ahead

all my life I've been living

one step short of disaster

I know it's on its way

I thought I took all my emotions

and put them out to pasture

but they've coming back today

I worry about

everything outside my mind

all of the problems and fears

I could've left behind

I can't run fast enough

to outrun the words that I said

but I'm one step ahead

I am afraid of everything

the future might hold for me

I'm shaking in fear

I'm tired of this fight

it's getting old for me

I need to disappear

I worry about

the deeds I've left undone

I live in fear

over what I've become

I'm drowning fast

in oceans of regret

but I'm one step ahead

I pray that someday

I'll find some kind of peace

but I'm not holding my breath

I've thought that maybe

my sorrow will cease

and there'll be nothing left

I worry about 

what I can't control

the state of sheer panic

that's surrounding my soul

but still I keep on

working for my daily bread

just one step ahead

doing what has to be done

I went out walking

got to get my feet moving

I need to get my heart rate up

I feel my health improving

with every step I take

on this sidewalk of cement

I tend to be careful

I don't want an accident

it's just me

out in the midday sun

doing what has to be done

I started listening

to the voices of my heart

I know they have the answers

but I don't know where to start

so I keep on listening

there's so much I need to hear

if I didn't have these voices

I think I might disappear

it's just me

looking out for number one

doing what has to be done

          I can't live

          the way I did before

          so I'm heading out

          I've opened the back door

I stopped pretending

that I know the things I do

instead I search for reasons

now I'm depending on you

to show me the way

I'm hoping you know

I need to find out

which direction to go

I feel like it's ending

but I know it's just begun

I'm just doing what has to be done

people dance

people dance

it's natural to do

you feel good

so your body moves

side to side

up and down

in biker dives

on the wrong side of town

it's a lot of fun

once you give it a chance

people dance

I just want to be with you

I don't want to talk on the phone

I don't need to read a text

I don't want to be alone

I won't settle for second best

I just want to be with you

right here

right now

I don't care how

I just want to be with you

in person

right here

I want your body near

what can I do

I just want to be with you

I don't want a greeting card

I won't read a personal letter

all I know is life is hard

and with you it would be better

I just want to be with you

in the present

not the past

I want our love to last

I just want to be with you

right by my side

God knows I've tried

but I don't know what to do

I just want to be with you

I can't get out of bed

I don't want to get out of bed in the morning

so I stay there until the afternoon

everything is so depressing and sad now

and it won't be changing any time soon

so I lie there with the fan on

because it's too damn hot

I could be counting my blessings

but I can't be someone I'm not

there's too much noise in my head

and I can't get out of bed

there's no reason to face the day ahead

so I'll pretend that it doesn't exist

there's no way I'm going to face the morning

on a sad and hot day like this

the temperature is nearing 100

and this apartment ain't got no AC

my core temperature is rising

and it's getting the better of me

I wish it were winter instead

and I can't get out of bed

I don't know what I'm going to do now

sure as hell I ain't going outside

I'm drinking a whole lot of water

but my depression just won't subside

so I think I'm just going to get loaded

maybe then I won't feel so bad

take lots of long cool showers

and try now to be so sad

I need something for my aching head

and I can't get out of bed

time keeps moving

time keeps moving

but I'm not improving

I'm stuck in the same old place

searching with questions

do I have to mention

I'm falling behind in this race

but still I keep running

looking for something

for easing my troubled mind

I don't know where it's hiding

but it's not surprising

that I don't know what I'll find

time keeps passing

its speed everlasting

I try, but I just can't keep up

my feelings are tired

but still they're inspired

I can't stress this enough

but these dreams I will keep

I can't fall asleep

in this hot and humid night

so I will seek action

and some satisfaction

in knowing I'll never be right

time's getting short now

I never will know how

but somehow I know I'll keep trying

making my way now

it'll come any day now

in spite of all my denying

I don't need permission

to sit back and listen

to the noise inside my brain

it's nothing to worry

I ain't in no hurry

I know it will turn out the same

so good to see you

it is so good to see you

return to the world

after all of your time away

sounding so healthy

so happy 

so fine

I didn't know if

I'd ever see the day

and now here you are

confident and sure

your fingers are tapping

your voice is so pure

you've grown since way back then

it is so good to see you

again