not feeling too well

I'm not feeling so wellI

I've got the chills

I went to see the doctor

and he gave me pills

woe is me, I'm feeling blue

what the hell can I do

I've got a mystery

and that will have to do

money problems

I have never not had money problems

it's the most predictable part of my life

the bills keep on rising

and the numbers don't add up right

I have too little money in my savings account

I have too much debt due to credit

I have no cash in my back pocket

this would bother me if I let it

I have never not had money problems

they define me more than I would like

the end of the month always comes too soon

it tells me to go take a hike

I try my best to budget well

but it never really seems to work

I always start out hopeful

I always end up hurt

I have never not had money problems

I must account for every cent

and then when I look at my balance

I wonder where my money went

one day I may have more money

but that's a long time away

but till then I'll keep on hoping

for a way to hold on to my pay

looking for reason

everything is so complicated

nothing is simple enough

every time I'm looking down

I find the only way is up

I have all these forms to fill out

I need to get somebody's okay

I have to plan for my tomorrows

when I can't even handle today

          ease my troubled mind

          tell me it will be all right

          I keep looking for reason

          but I don't see it in sight

insurance plans keep changing

my job expects more and more

and I'm not getting the sleep

that I used to get before

my therapist is absent

and taxes are overdue

it's a world of confusion

that's what I've been going through

          ease my troubled mind

          tell me it will be all right

          I keep looking for reason

          but I don't see it in sight

tomorrow will be better

that's what I tell myself

but it would be so much easier

if I were someone else

all I can do is try my best

and not think where or when

pull my bootstraps up

and start all over again

          ease my troubled mind

          tell me it will be all right

          I keep looking for reason

          but I don't see it in sight

there are mornings

there are mornings when the rain falls/ and I run to catch the bus/ and the streets are shining silver/ and leaves blow in the wind/ lately I've been thinking/ all I need is a human touch/ then I will begin anew/ and start over again

there are mornings when I sleep late/ no longer the crack of dawn/ I brush my teeth, put on my slippers/ and do nothing all day/ better luck and blessings/ are what I depend upon/  go to the computer/ and waste the day away

all in all, it's just another day/ it comes and goes with nothing much to say

there are mornings I feel reckless/ I'm waiting for the day to begin/ and today holds such promise/ my future is in sight/ maybe I'll go out walking/ if I do, I don't know just when/ I know this moment will continue/ all the way into night

which way I should go

I am lost and searching

for my secret sacred soul

to rebalance my stability

to try to make me whole

and when I find it

I will let you know

and then I will be certain

which way I should go

spin that wheel

somebody save me a place

I will be back soon

I just have an errand to do

in the other room

I'll figure out my life

discover what is true

explore my inner meaning

then go back out to you

          growth is so inconvenient

          especially when you're the one that grows

          spin that wheel one more time, son

          where it stops, nobody knows

I've had my share of self-pity

I've whined since I don't remember when

but if you're listening to me

I will tell you once again

          growth is so inconvenient

          especially when you're the one that grows

          spin that wheel one more time, son

          where it stops, nobody knows

maybe I'm being dramatic

losing my dignity

I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining

but it's so hard to be me

          growth is so inconvenient

          especially when you're the one that grows

          spin than wheel one more time, son

          where it stops, nobody knows

eggshells

why do I feel guilty

I haven't done anything wrong

since I woke up this morning

I've done my best to get along

I am still innocent

as far as I can see

I'm always walking on eggshells

and there's no one around but me

I am not psychotic

maybe just a little confused

no crimes have I committed

no weapons have I used

no way am I accepting this

as my destiny

I'm always walking on eggshells

and there's no one around but me

          and they're cracking under me

          they're cracking under me

          they're cracking under me

I've done my best like all the rest

to earn my daily bread

my actions always rise above

the thoughts inside my head

why do I feel guilty

in the first degree

I'm always walking on eggshells

and there's no one around but me