A whole new learning experience

I'm so fuckin' tired, man. My back aches and my stomach hurts like I've swallowed a few dozen gallons of air. I can't wait till I'm off work tomorrow and then it's the weekend. It'll be kind of a busy weekend. I'm performing Saturday night and then going out Sunday night.

To watch the Academy Awards?

No, going to my songwriter group. I'm gonna play "You Won't Remember Me" for the first time in front of people. I'm gonna play it at the performance, too. Wish me luck.

It's a good song, farmboy.

Thanks. I'm pleased with it. 

But mostly right now I'm just tired. Seems like lately I've been looking forward to sleeping. I like to sleep.

How's the depression?

Not bad. Low-level.  And that's happened since my friends showed me all that generosity. But it's more than just the money, you know. It's that feeling that people care about me and 
are concerned about me.

They love you, farmboy.

Maybe.

Just accept it, farmboy. They love you, they care about you. They want the best for you.

And I'm grateful like you couldn't believe. I'm just...I just can't see why anybody would even fuckin' like me.

Don't analyze it. Just accept it.

I am. It's a whole new learning experience, man. It's fuckin' hard.

It's good for you.

I know.

It's necessary, farmboy. There are people in this world who love you.

I know, okay.

I think it's really important that you accept it. 

And I am. And it's hard. But I am, man.

Love scares me

So it's just fuckin' amazing what my friends did for me,man, and the effect it's had on me.

It sounds like you have great friends, farmboy. Who were these people?

The folks in my songwriting group, who are people I know from the coffeehouse. I can't get over it. They are so generous and it makes me feel like Sally Field at the Academy Awards:
They like me, they really like me.

Which is a misquote, by the way.

It still applies. 

It's just made me a whole lot happier. I went from hopeless to grateful in just a matter of minutes, you know? I'm still fuckin' overwhelmed by the whole thing, man. I don't know what else to say.

Let me ask you, farmboy: Do you feel loved?

Oh, man...it scares me. Love scares me. 

Now I kinda feel like crying, for some reason.

And that's all right, farmboy.

This whole thing makes me feel a little weird, man. I don't trust feeling good. That scares me, too.

But you know what? Fuck it. I'll just have to fuckin' deal with it, man. I mean, I like feeling like I might be loved, you know?