That's part of the fuckin' deal

Ain't nothing in my mind today, man. Nothing to write a song about. Unless, of course, it was there and I didn't notice it. Which, now that I'm thinking of it, is probably right. I'm sure things have occurred today that deserve a song, but my senses just didn't notice them.

That's okay, farmboy. Are you still going to write?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I have to write. That's what I expect from myself. That's part of the fuckin' deal.

What deal is that?

Hell if I know. 

But I know it's there. I've got it with guitar, too. I have to play guitar every day. It's kinda like: How can I expect to get anything in life if I don't do these things? Working on Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours or whatever the hell that was. 

I hope I'm not sounding like I think this stuff is a burden or something. 'Cause I think it's a real privilege to play music, to create music. And it's a part of life to me. I can't imagine not being a musician.

So you're going to go write, then?

I'm gonna give it my best, man. I always do. Really.

Perks of being obsessed

I want to write a song. I have a song I rote a week ago...I mean, basically, lyrics...

Did you show me that one? Was that the lullaby?

Yeah. You remembered!

Why does that surprise you, farmboy?

'Cause, basically, I expect to go through my whole life invisible and unnoticed.

That's not true. You've won awards, you've made albums, you've performed -- what? Hundreds of times? Over a thousand?

I have no idea.

How many songs have you written, farmboy?

I don't fuckin' know. (irritated) C'mon, give me a fuckin' break!

Have you finished the Malcolm Gladwell book yet?

I'm close. I've got, like, forty or so pages to go.

Sound familiar? You, my talented friend, are an outlier.

(grudgingly) Yeah, I guess I am. That's one of the perks of being obsessed all your life.

And how does that make you feel?

It actually gave me some confidence, you know, a little hope. Like I haven't wasted my life, maybe.

You could use a little confidence, farmboy.

I could use a little hope, too. I ain't complaining about this Outliers thing. I'll take all the fuckin' encouragement I can get, I tell you what.

I'm glad you read the book, farmboy. Did you like it?

Yeah, this Gladwell dude is a good writer. He's, like, effortless to read. Thanks for recommending it, man.

You're welcome, farmboy.

Yeah, thanks. I'm glad you assigned it.

Homework is good to have sometimes.

Yeah, but don't press your fuckin' luck, pal.

Pigsty

I did some work on cleaning up my apartment today. Man, what a fuckin' mess! It's like my father said: farmboy, you live in a pigsty. I can't believe I respect myself so little as to live some place that is the very definition of the word squalor. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with me? Huh? I'm so fuckin' pathetic! I don't see how...

farmboy!

Yes, sir!

Cut that shit out. Stop it.

It's hard.

I know. But you can do it.

Let me remind you of what you first said to me.

Huh?

"I did some work on cleaning up my apartment today."

In other words, farmboy, you took action. I'd like to see you giving yourself even just a little credit sometimes.

Are you reading that Malcolm Gladwell book yet?

I'm, like, a little more than halfway through.

What do you think?

It's really interesting. We'll have to discuss it when I'm finished. Which will be soon, it's pretty fast reading, this Outliers.

How about your apartment?

I've got too get this place clean. I mean, it's fuckin' ridiculous that I could even think of living in such a...

farmboy!

Okay, okay...

Homework

Oh, man, I am so fuckin' tired of not being satisfied with who I am, it just pisses me off. What am I going to do? I've always felt this way. I'm not smart enough, I'm ugly, I'm awkward, I have wasted my whole fuckin' life. I am a complete loser.

Well, say what you will, farmboy, but I disagree. On all accounts. I think you're a success...

Yeah? What do you mean?

You have worked so hard on songwriting for most of your life. You weren't even aware of it.

Ever read Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers?

What about it?

That's you. You're an outlier. Read the book, you'll see.

I started it once and never finished it. Maybe I'll read it.

That's your homework then, to read the book.

Homework? What are you, man, a fuckin' teacher?

Well, farmboy, everyone is your teacher. So...oh, just read the book.

What do I get if I read it?

Knowledge, farmboy. But some other stuff, too. You have to read it to find out.

Okay. But I better enjoy it.

You will.

I better.