all the mistakes I have made

I must think about

all the mistakes I have made

in my life

everyday

I must lie awake at night

and think about

what I could have been

done right

all the sins of my childhood

come back calling to me

like they think

they are something

I need to see

Lord up above

have mercy on me

I know the errors of my way

now

please

guide me towards tomorrow

The "H" word

Hey, farmboy, how was the busy weekend?

Good, but busy. The comedy show Friday was really good. It had been years since I had been to a comedy club. I'm kinda amazed by stand-up, because they don't have a guitar to hide behind like singer/songwriter sorts do. Looks pretty terrifying to me. Stand up comedy, that is.

And you played last night...

Yeah, a benefit show for the coffeehouse. A night of sing-alongs...

A hootenanny!

Yeah, I guess. (laughs) You know, I got to be friends with these two folk music radio folks when I was a teenager and they hated hootenannies and that image and that word. It was the "H" word, you know.

But it was good. I led the audience in singing songs by the Band and the Carter Family, among others.

Hey, I'm at my brother's house and it's time for supper. Talk to you in the next couple days?

You got it, farmboy.

Cool, man.

stolen chevrolet (version one)

I broke my silence

when I got my first guitar

held closely to me

while everyone else was so far

away

riding in a stolen chevrolet

I stayed at home

where people like me belonged

I grew up in fantasies

from drug store comic books

staring out the window

to see how real children looked

I could not run

I could not sing

I could not ride a bike

I could not do a single thing

that other people liked

Comedy Tonight

It's Friday, which is fuckin' great. I'm freezing, which just fuckin' sucks. I'm going out tonight when I'd rather be staying in, but what the hell.

Where are you going, farmboy?

To a comedy club with my brother. We're gonna see this comedian named Marc Maron, who has this podcast where he interviews other comedians and does his own comedy, too. I enjoy the show. My brother called me up yesterday to see if I wanted to go. He's gotta be out of his house or something so he called.

I think it'll be good for you to go out.

I guess, but that's the way I am. I like to just hang out at home and smoke weed but I kinda feel I should experience real life sometimes, you know. I'm such a pothead, I'm such a fuckin' addict. But I do realize there's a whole lot more to life out there. I also realize that I looove marijuana. Maybe it's not an either/or thing.

What if it is an either/or thing?

I'm not looking at it right now. Plus I am going out into the world tonight.

Well, I'm glad you made that choice, farmboy.

Why? Are you one of those anti-marijuana people?

No, I'm not. But I am a pro-moderation person.

And you're right, of course. Excess in anything is not good. But, fuck, I love marijuana.

It may be a good thing to try a little moderation with it, farmboy.

And hopefully I will try a little moderation. But tonight I'm just going to see some comedy tonight. That's the name of a Stephen Sondheim song, I think.

It always comes back to songs...

I am not going to do music in moderation, I can tell you that.

in my cigarette days (part one)

you should have known me

in my cigarette days

you should have seen me

through the smoke and the haze

I was so brave then

I took my chances

taking advantage

of all the circumstances

you should have known me

you would have been amazed

if you had seen me

in my cigarette days

Wishing it would snow

I never said I was anything much

and I always tell the truth

See, look, I'm trying to write, but nothing feels natural at all. I mean, the melody and rhythm in my head feels natural, but, man the lyrics are just so fuckin' hard. And, you know, I don't really even believe the words I'm writing...I mean I do, but...maybe, as Paul Simon once wrote, I think too much.

Maybe so, farmboy. Quick, give me a line or two! Don't think...

I am a lineman for the coun-teeee...

Very funny.

I am looking out the window

at the kids across the street

who are staring at the sky

and wishing it would snow

See? Was that so hard?

Yeah, but we'll see if it actually goes somewhere.

Just writing is good. You know that, farmboy.

I suppose I do, yeah.

Mr. Humility

I got to apologize, man, 'cause I've been nothing but tired lately.

Well, you know, farmboy, you do work full-time at a demanding job for which you don't get paid enough. And you just got finished playing a two-set headlining benefit show. You do a lot, farmboy, and you expect a lot out of yourself.

No wonder I like you so fuckin' much. You should bottle the way you talk and sell it.

It's all true, farmboy.

Oh, I never said it wasn't. (laughs)

You're so, what's the word? Oh, I know. Humble.

Oh, that's me, all right. Mr. Humility, at your service.

So, farmboy, I'm glad to see you're doing okay and in a good mood despite your exhaustion. Go get some rest and maybe I'll get to talk with you tomorrow.

Hopefully, yeah. You have a good night, man.