I believe I may be lost

take me from this wilderness
I have no map and compass
I don't know how to read the stars
I believe I may be lost
I will pay all that I can, sir
to reunite with family
you wish is my command, sir
no matter what the cost
I'm looking for the answer
I believe I may be lost

I function pretty good, don't I?

I tell you, man, I'm tired. I hate being tired. It reminds me that some day I'm gonna die, and chances are that will be after some terrible thing happens, like an illness or a fuckin' accident or a political bombing or something, I don't know what…

Are you always this cheery and hopeful, farmboy?

You know what I mean. I'm tired, but I'm okay. I'm maybe a little depressed, but I'm always fuckin' depressed.

I know. That's why you're on medication.

Damn straight. Gimme those drugs, man.

I function pretty good, don't I? I'm even making an album. I go to my fuckin' job five days a week, I pay my bills. I write every day, I play guitar every day, I exercise every day. Pretty good for a person with clinical depression, eh? I've even been diagnosed with that obsessive/compulsive disorder that's so popular now. Hey, I had OCD before the rest of you!

You are very functional, farmboy. I just wish you were happier.

I don't know what to tell you, man. I wish I was happier, too. It's strange; I almost can't even imagine happiness. But I must still believe it's there. I mean, I keep going, you know?

I know. You do keep going. But, again, I just wish that you were happier.

(sighs)  I'm working on it, man. Every single fuckin' day of my miserable life.

Quick, time's a wastin'!

Okay, let's get this CD going! Decisions need to be made! Time to book the recording studio! Time to contact the other musicians! What about the album cover? What about the new website? You gotta remember to rewrite that bridge! Liner notes! I need liner notes! What about money? Do I have enough money? I FUCKIN' NEED MONEY! Recordings of the songs are needed for the backing musicians! Is the research done on manufacturing? Or do you want to go the self-assembling route? Quick, time's a wastin'! Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, this CD is happening, man!

love exists (new bridge)

deep inside 
my darkest corner of the heart
this is where I hide my love
protecting myself
wishing on a falling star
and not having
what I'm most in need of

wishes

I wish I was smarter
I wish I had cash
I wish I had an assistant
to take out my trash
I wish I had power
over this life I live
I wish I could see you
and try to forgive

I wish I was younger
with the wisdom of age
I wish I knew calmness
instead of bottled-up rage
I wish I would place first
in this race that I run 
I wish I could see you
and forgive what you've done

        I need to leave you behind
        for my own peace of mind
        I need to set you free
        to preserve what's left of me
        I need to appreciate
        that you are not my fate
        I need you gone
        so I can move on

I wish now that you
had nothing to do with me
I wish for amnesia
when you enter my memory
I wish that your love
was not russian roulette
I wish I could forgive you
so I could forget

I wish I could forgive
every word that you said
I wish I could forgive
your secrets in bed
I wish I could forgive you
for my own mental health
I wish I could forgive you
I wish I could forgive
myself

school is out, second verse

kick off the sneakers
wiggle your toes
take them to the beach
and set them free
grab your sweetheart
and hold her close
no longer just 
a fantasy
to tell yourself
in the lonely night
everything 
will be all right
school is out

school is out

pull out of the driveway
crank up the tunes
turn off the AC
and roll down the window
howl with the music
like a hound to the moon
toss your head back
and feel the wind blow
your hair
soft in the summer breeze
free to do whatever you please
school is out