the world turns silently

the world turns silently
people mean a lot of noise
we all have our opinions
it is a conscious choice
but we say them anyway
we like the sound of our own voice
we say:
listen to me
I am here
I'm not gonna
disappear
the world turns silently
and I am screaming

today I woke up early

today I woke up early
in the middle of the afternoon
I went to bed at 5 a.m.
with the disappearing moon
everything is upside down
including my self-esteem
it's this way 'most every day
if you know what I mean

nowhere to be found

I can't do anything I want
all the exits have been blocked
all the doors to the future
have been bolted down and locked
there is no one here to help me
I know today I'm on my own
I walk these streets for hours
looking for somewhere to call home

          I beg of you to save me
          think I'll take a look around
          I beg of you to save me
          but you're nowhere to be found

glad that I'm alive

today I'm gonna be 
glad that I'm alive
I'm going to do my best 
to do more than just survive
I'm telling you the truth, man, 
these aren't just silly lies
this time I'm gonna try

it's really not so hard to be
glad that I am here
as long as I don't let
my defenses disappear
this world may not be as bad
as it first appears
this time I'm gonna try

          and if I don't make it
          shame on me
          I guess it ain't the way
          that it's supposed to be

today I'm gonna be
glad that I'm alive
show me you believe in me
give me a high five
I've been searching all my life
it's time that I arrive
this time I'm gonna try

fine art of losing

nothing is going right
everything is confusing
the only thing I'm good at
is the fine art of losing
I know it's my own damn fault
life's there for the choosing
and I guess
I'm choosing to be depressed

that's what life is

this is how you do it
you know there's nothing to it
you just breathe and live
and blame and forgive
that's what life is
you've been practicing a long, long time

this is how you know it
you don't see nothing below it
you just use your eyes
expect a surprise
maybe you don't get it
that's what life is
you've been practicing a long, long time

I don't have a fuckin' clue

It's the beginning of July. The first of July, to be exact. This pandemic thing...well, it's continuing. That's really all I can say about it. I know there's going to be a vaccine at some point, but it's going to take a while. In the meantime, a lot of people are being as fuckin' stupid as they can be about this. It's like they don't understand that we're in a fuckin' pandemic that really doesn't give a shit about what we think about it.

I can't believe how stupid some people are being about this, farmboy. We could have this under control if people would just think straight and wear masks and practice social distancing. 

I know, man. I have no idea how long this will all last if we keep crying and moaning about how the precautions are taking away our freedoms. I'd like to live, you know? But people are so fuckin' impatient. They have to get their fuckin' haircuts, they have to go out to bars and to the beaches. And now look at what's happening. 

It's horrible.

It's more than horrible. It's irresponsible and it's fuckin' selfish. What the fuck are these people thinking? C'mon, it's not that big a sacrifice to wear a fuckin' mask and distance yourself. 

Do you think things will improve, farmboy?

I have no idea. I don't have a fuckin' clue. I'm just taking everything one day at a time, just like Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm taking precautions. I'm not going out excessively. I but groceries every two weeks. I plan. I'm being careful. Lot a lot of people.

I would like things to improve, which is what the vaccine will do.

So what are you going to do until then?

Just the same old same old, you know? I'm going to continue being careful and I'm going to keep being informed. I know what I'm going to do. And I'm doing it.