peaceful

I want everything to be peaceful

because that's not the way I am inside

and my emotions still control me

and there's no way to run and hide

I am shaking, I am trembling

like a junkie without a fix

I have tried and I am telling you

there is no way out of this

I want everything to be normal

not at all the way life has been

I want to predict everything that happens

before it happens again

I don't want choices, I just want to know

that everything will be okay

I will do anything you ask

if you just show me the way

          I have lived my whole life in fear

          that all I am will disappear

I want everything to be boring

because change gives me anxiety

I want to control my daily thoughts

the voices that are inside of me

I've heard no two days are the same

I'd like to challenge that theory

by doing the same thing day after day

there'd be no cause to worry

I want everything to be peaceful

with no chance of conflict or grief

just one day after another

corresponding to my own beliefs

keep me away from life's surprises

I know you can show me how

I want everything to be peaceful

not the way it is right now

 

if you go to school (rewrite 1)

this is what they teach the teachers

in these modern times

lock the doors

turn out the lights

and close the window blinds

everybody must be silent

nothing can be said

and if you make an error

there's a chance you'll end up dead

all the students must obey

if they want another day

you must follow all the rules

if you go to school

this is how you run a high school

in these modern times

only one door will be open

staff will be assigned

to be aware of what can come

if violence breaks out

we must protect each other 

that's what school is now about

and everybody lives in fear

that Columbine can happen here

you must learn to keep your cool

if you go to school

everybody everywhere

in these modern times

will know the danger and the drill

and recognize the signs

everyone in every school

they all learn the same

staff and students meet the guns

and no one is to blame

and everybody must obey

and go through this everyday

the world outside is hard and cruel

if you go to school

you forgot me

you forgot me

I used to be your friend

back in my young days

that will never come again

you don't remember my face

but I had a place in your heart

isn't it sad

that what we once had

fell apart

I could be a memory

but you forgot me

I am old news

you don't even know my name

I'm around and

I'm not the only one to blame

I have to say

I have not gone away

I'm still here

all that remains

is a pain

that won't disappear

there's nothing to see

you forgot me

          the love we once knew

          has not faded away

          you just withdrew

          and left me stranded

          with nothing to say

you forgot me

I once thought that you cared

I always remember

a past when our love was still there

where have you gone

I cannot carry on like before

I need a place

that time can't erase or ignore

why can't I set you free

you forgot me

          

come into my sight

my work is all done

now the night time exists

it's been a hard day

and I am pissed

but slowly I enter

into the night

where starlight and dreams

come into my sight

everything's silent

inside my home

where yesterday's worries

are all but unknown

I turn out the lights

I get into bed

surrounded by thoughts

running through my head

in time they are resting

thoughts not so deep

my body cries mercy

and then goes to sleep

until the morning

sun comes up, and then

I start a new day

all over again

Lord, please allow me

a moment of peace

where worries and anger

temporarily cease

until I enter

into the night

when starlight and dreams

come into my sight

in front of me

you can teach me

I will let you

show me what you know

if you reach me

I won't forget you

I won't let you go

I never knew that love

was meant for me

prove me wrong

help me learn to see

what's in front of me

I have purpose

but I don't know

what I have become

it's a circus

when you go

back to where you came from

you have proven

love can be 

in store for you

help me learn to see

what's in front of me

don't be leaving

me to find out

how to be alone

I am breathing

I have a mind to

leave well enough alone

you have set

my spirit free

when you smile

then I can see

what's in front of me

that's what my mind says

whatever I do

it will be wrong

that's what my mind says

wherever you are,

you don't belong

that's what my mind says

you don't like what I say? 

that's tough

nothing's wrong when something's up

my best is never good enough

that's what my mind says

this is how I live my life

I start each day by taking pills

for the voices in my head

for heart and blood and so much more

the fact that I'm not dead

the emotions in my tattered brain

pain cuts like a knife

I take my medicine everyday

this is how I live my life

I put off my doing chores

I read the internet

I make mistakes and never learn

I happen to forget

I try to do the best I can

and somehow I survive

and yet I still hold out for good

this is how I live my life

          maybe, if I do, I'll take a shower

          wash my hands and legs and feet

          I know when it comes my final hour

          I will know that everything's complete

every night I say my daily prayers

for peace to come my way

but sometimes I stop to listen

but I can't hear what my heart will say

I focus on the good things

and try to ignore the strife

pack my stuff and move on to tomorrow

this is how I live my life