Working towards moderation

So today I totally blew it. Day number two and I'm already a fuckin' failure, man. Pisses me off. I am such a loser. I mean, if I had brains...

Okay, what would your counselor say?

Um...

He'd probably say okay, you feel bad. Notice it, notice how it made you feel, then move on.

Move on? I am not good at moving on.

I've noticed.

Now, what's that supposed to mean?

Okay, look at things, farmboy. How can you prevent this from happening again?

There's got to be an answer for this. I just can't think of what it might be.

I can go back to sleep. What I did, I slept for a few hours and it was dark and wet outside and I just lost my fuckin' willpower. So I just smoked weed and totally disregarded my plan. Which, of course, makes me feel guilty and shameful and it's like it opens me up to all sorts of worrying type stuff.

So next time you go back to sleep instead of getting up and smoking weed.

Yeah. I mean, I don't want to quit marijuana forever. I just want to show some fuckin' moderation about it.

I understand. So right now you're learning how to do it. And if you find it's too hard, you can always quit completely.

Seriously?

Seriously.

Well, I'm working towards moderation. But, you know, if I have to...

Maybe it won't come to that. Let's see how you do tomorrow. Forget about today's mistakes.

I need to remember that quote you told me about, about starting out the day with a spirit too high to be stopped by yesterday's nonsense. I'm paraphrasing here, of course.

I know what you're talking about. The Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. It's on my refrigerator.

I suggest you read it these days, farmboy.

Good idea. But I've actually memorized it:

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.

Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as

you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with

too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Pretty great quote, farmboy.

You ain't kidding, man.