Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Da and the Blues

So remember that book I was telling you about?

The saddest book in the world. It's called...let me think...

"Half a Life" by Darin Strauss.

That's it.

So I finished it, and, man, it was just fuckin' great. It got me to thinking 'bout a whole mess of stuff. Like, remember when I said to you that I drawn to sadness?

I remember, farmboy.

I don't think that's all, but I'm not clear on it yet. I just know it's more than just sadness.

Then I also get to thinking about sadness and how we're all constantly running away from it. Which kinda sounds good, but...well, you're gonna get sad sooner than later and it's good to maybe know a little something about it.

I don't know, exactly. I'm still getting there.

It's interesting...

It's kinda like, you know, how people are always, like, "I can't read this book or listen to this song or see this movie 'cause it's too depressing." Well, fuck, you know...Townes Van Zandt once said that there's two types of music: Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Da and the Blues...I mean, I like "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Da" a lot; I sing it with my students. But, fuck, man, you need the blues, too.

Anyway, I really got into the Darin Strauss book. He's an amazing writer. There's, like, no sentimentality, he never tries to manipulate your emotions. He'd make a good songwriter.

It takes one to know one, farmboy.

Indeed, man.

Drawn to sadness

So I've had enough of this closing my eyes to sadness stuff. I say bring on the sadness! So here I am, partaking of sad art.

Sad art?

Oh, I'm trying to be funny but it's not fuckin' working. What I'm referring to is I just saw this movie about this hiker guy...127 Hours. It's, like, great but it's excruciating to watch. I'm glad I did, but, man, whew, I mean...

I heard it was pretty intense.

Yeah. And now I'm reading this book called Half a Life by Darin Strauss. It's about the author who accidentally killed a girl when he was 18. I mean, he was driving and she rode her bike into his car...fuck, it's like the saddest book I've ever read.

So why then do you read it, farmboy?

It's hard to explain. I feel like it's my job, in a way. It's got something to do with songwriting, I know that.

(wryly) Hard to believe.

Fuck off, asshole. (laughs)

I've always been drawn to sadness, to sad things...Well, fuck, you know, I'm on fuckin' antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication, and my daily life is spent, in a lot of ways, dealing with mental illness, emotional illness.

You haven't mentioned that for a while, farmboy.

Well, yeah, because life has been calm. Which worries the shit outta me, to be honest. But it's always there, every day, believe me.

Hey, listen, I gotta eat something and brush my teeth and go to bed. But I'd like to continue this conversation at some point.

I would too.

Great. You remind me or I'll remind you, let's do it, man.